Bwinder: A Call for Personals
Written by Thomas Saenz
Here we are, Bwoggers: with the new semester starting, many may have forgotten that in just three weeks, Valentine’s Day will be rolling around, reminding you of your perpetual loneliness or causing you to question what may have happened if you cuffed the person you hooked up with at Beta. While we cannot help with post-hook up advice, we can help you get back on the right track.
Tired of spending time on Tinder, Bumble, or Grindr trying to find the person of your dreams only to be ghosted or worse? Can’t seem to pull off a relationship from online sites? Need help getting yourself out there? Bwog is here for you! Introducing Bwinder: the not-so-new service that may help you find your new boo. All you have to do is submit an email to email@example.com answering the questions below and submitting one picture of yourself (reminder – we at Bwog are not your boo, please do not send nudes)! If you do this by Friday, February 9th and are patient, you may just see yourself on the website during the week of Valentine’s Day. Bwog is ready to help you, so help us by submitting your information as soon as possible!
Name, Year, School, Major (grad students encouraged)
Preference (girl for girl, etc)
Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer
What redeems you as a human being?
Library room of choice
Beverage of choice
Which dating apps have you been active on? (be honest)
Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night?
Personals are due Friday, February 9th, to firstname.lastname@example.org by 11:59 PM EST.
A nightmare of an app via Tinder