Where Does My Roommate Go At Night?
Written by Isabel Sepúlveda
After a semester of living together, I’ve come to the conclusion that one of the signs of an impending apocalypse is a night where my roommate comes back to our room before me. No matter if it’s the weekend or a week day, no matter if I get back 8 pm or 3 am, she’s still out, studying in Butler or hanging out with her friends because she’s both a better student and more social than me. However, I feel like there could be an alternative explanation, and I’ve spent the last several months wondering: where could my roommate be going at night? Here are the possibilities I’ve come up with:
- The most obvious: she’s a vampire or werewolf and doesn’t want me to know.
- Less obvious: she’s a Gremlin, and is attempting to convince the JJ’s staff to feed her after midnight.
- She’s pretending to be enrolled at NYU and has to spend the night there to keep up appearances.
- There are 9 feral turtles that live in the John Jay basement, and she feeds them at night,
- She’s attempting to recreate the first splitting of the atom in the Pupin Basement.
- We’ve got a 12 Dancing Princesses situation going on, and she’s dancing the night away in the tunnels under Columbia.
- By day, she’s a Columbia student. By night, she’s working undercover with Public Safety to uncover the source of the weed smell that permeates all of Carman.
- She secretly hates me and never wants to see my face.
Empty bed via Flickr
Tags: can you domesticate a turtle?, having a party in the columbia tunnels could be really fun, i don't know why you would pretend to be enrolled at NYU, i hope she doesn't secretly hate me, i like to think she doesn't hate me but who knows