Poopin’ In Pupin: The Best Bathrooms To Poop In At Columbia
Written by Youngweon Lee
This is a reboot of our 2012 guide to campus bathrooms, Poopin’ In Pupin. The list is made with submissions from Bwoggers and responses on our Facebook and Twitter. If you have a bathroom you like to poop in that hasn’t been featured, email email@example.com, comment below, or DM us on any social media platform.
- Philosophy 4 bathroom next to the elevator: It’s single stall (gender neutral), large, clean, marble, sunny, and not a lot of people use it. It’s pretty hidden, so you wouldn’t know it’s there unless you knew it was there. You can poop loudly without people hearing you because it’s not directly in a crowded hallway but a tiny narrow corridor off Philosophy 4.
- Wien basement bathroom: Wien basement is uncomfortably warm, but that means no one goes there. This isn’t by the package center where there’s a lot of foot traffic; it’s off to the side past some shady doors. Not the most luxurious, but points for privacy.
- Butler 6 bathroom (after 11 pm): the rooms in Butler 6 are closed after 11 pm, but the bathrooms are still accessible, which means they’re clean and isolated. Not single stall, but it doesn’t matter since no one’s there after 11 pm.
- Milbank 3 women’s bathroom: This bathroom is a labyrinth of stalls, making it difficult if not impossible for other patrons to know which stall you’re in/whether you’re the one pooping or not. While crowded in between classes, it usually clears out during class time and becomes a nice, quiet haven.
- Diana 5th floor: It’s a single stall and it’s so huge; it’s like the size of a Sulz double. You could turn cartwheels in there if you so wished.
- Barnard Hall 4th floor: It’s secluded, big, and clean. The perfect pooping bathroom.
- Barnard Hall 1st floor men’s bathroom: The lighting and color scheme make it feel really clean. It’s a dope vibe for pooping. (@TyParksPhilly on Twitter)
- Fuck it, all the single-stall bathrooms in Barnard Hall: Well lit, always clean, always enough toilet paper, really private, etc. The second floor (right next to the Writing Center) bathrooms get a special shoutout.
- Mudd 2nd floor: It’s clean and quiet. (@jksmithnyc on Twitter)
- Kent 6th floor private bathroom
- Dodge 7th floor bathroom: It is a single stall bathroom, and it’s absolutely huge. It’s pretty well described in the original Poopin’ in Pupin and in another bathroom article. But that review doesn’t mention the ~4’x4′ window which you can raise to look over college walk after you’re done with your poop.
- Low Library bathrooms: Enter at any of the building’s four corners and walk around the circle until you find your preferred bathroom. They are marvelously marbled, and they don’t generally have any students in them.
- Low basement bathroom
- Butler 5 bathrooms: There are not a lot of rooms on Butler 5, so there’s usually not a lot of people in these bathrooms.
- Horace Mann (TC) 4th floor men’s bathroom: It’s painted a nice yellow color and emits a good vibe.
- Hartley 1st floor bathrooms: They are single stall, really big, and not a lot of people use them.
- McBain 1st floor bathroom by the water fountain: If you enter McBain and take a sharp left before you pass the security guard, there is one bathroom right across from the lounge. Pass that one, take a right at the corner in front of the study room, and there’s another single-stall bathroom by the water fountain. As is probably evident from this description, no one goes there. It’s secluded and perfect for a big noisy poop.
- NoCo 2nd floor bathroom
- Renovated Kent 4th floor bathroom (unclear if this means the bathroom is renovated, or Kent 4 is renovated)
- Fayerweather 6th floor bathroom (unclear if this was a joke comment or not because Fayerweather as a building is pretty bad)
Random Bathroom (Woodbridge?) via Bwog Archives
Tags: apparently barnard hall has good bathrooms, i hate pooping in public bathrooms but sometimes when you gotta go you gotta go, the joke in the title is that pupin isn't actually on this list but it rhymes with poopin