Best Places On Campus To Ugly Cry In Peace

Written by

me every weekend this semester so far

It’s been a stressful semester for all of us and sometimes, the best way to let of some steam is to just grossly sob for an hour. But it can get a little weird if your roommate walks into you crying into your pillow. To spare both of you the pain, we’ve compiled a list of the best places on campus to just let it all out. If you think we missed any, let us know in the comments!

  • The shower: The #1 place; almost like you aren’t crying at all
  • The gender inclusive bathroom on the first and third floor of Barnard hall: It looks like a utility closet; essentially the Room of Requirement for crying.
  • Mudd bathrooms on higher floors: these tend to be empty and perfect for some privacy
  • Some other good bathrooms: The Diana 3 bathroom late at night
    and the Kent 5 bathroom (above the East Asian Library), McBain bathrooms
  • Honestly any single-stall bathroom: Find them in Milbank, Barnard Hall, Hartley etc.
  • But Ref at 11pm: just make sure no one tries to fight you for your gross sobbing
  • Butler stairwell at night: you’re already here and this way, you’ll be less likely to be murdered by a stressed SEAS student
  • 1st floor of the stacks: it’s dark and cramped, but no one is going to look for you here

  • JJs at like 8am: afterward, you can use a breakfast swipe and kill two birds with one stone
  • Practice rooms in Sulz basement: comfy, soundproof, almost always available. (you have to get a card per semester though – if Res Life’s open you can just walk in and ask for one)
  • Diana 6: often deserted, the perfect place to get a little privacy
  • Squash courts: they have little doors and soundproofing!!
  • Sundial at noon:  it’s peak drama, but you can get it all out in front of everyone
  • The Carman basement gym: no one uses it and you can cry and jog at the same time
  • 2nd floor of Schermerhorn: usually empty, good vending machines, and the only people you could run into are psych majors
  • Beta House chapter room during a party: everyone is too drunk to care if they find you
  • The security line at Newark liberty international airport: It’s not as far as you think and you’ll never be alone
  • Morton Williams at 4:00 AM next to the wall of cereals: essentially a liminal space where nothing matters, especially not your tears
  • The steps of Earl Hall late at night
  • Streng dance studio
  • The 110 laundry room, after the elevators stop going there: sometimes 11pm, sometimes later, it depends on the day. Plus, you can do all the laundry you’ve been putting off for weeks
  • Westside at 1am on a Wednesday: seems overly specific, but you can’t knock it until you try it
  • 125th and Broadway: no one here knows you, because most Columbia students will never willingly walk this far from campus and you’ll also get some fresh air while we’re at it

ugly cries via Bwog Archives

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