My Spanish grade hates me right now.

We’ve all had that moment where we want to check the year the Defenestration of Prague took place, only to look up from our phone four hours later having read through the entire entry for rope. But, what happens if you let your wiki-binge take on a more Columbia-specific flavor? You can make some…interesting discoveries about our institutional history.

• 1956: The only information on this page is a single question: What happened? What did happen at Columbia in 1956? It seems the world may never know.
• 1874: This takes the 1956 page up to another level, forgoing words in favor of a single question mark.
• Utada Hikaru: One of Columbia’s many famous drop-outs, the only things we apparently need to know about her is that she’s “the best Japanese pop singer on the planet” and that “there’s nothing not to like about her.” Honestly, I feel like that’s all that’s necessary.
• Convocation: The most concise, accurate description of convocation you need; after reading this, you honestly don’t even need to go. Best quote: “Family members succumb to heat stroke. Parents bid teary farewells to their precious children, whom they must now abandon to immoral crime-riddled cesspool of heathens and sin that is New York City.”
• Pinkberry:  Apparently Bwog once compared Spec to this “glassy neon virus” that infected the old Spec office. This is the kind of institutional memory I crave.
• Speccie: A beautiful anthropological summary of those who write for Spec. Honestly, if I were a professor, I would give this an A+.
• Princeton University: All the WikiCU pages about other Ivies are gold, but a list titled “They stand for everything we hate” will win my heart every time.
• Ken Hechtman: A guy who dropped out of Columbia after being caught keeping uranium-238 he stole the first floor of Pupin? I demand someone make a biopic about this man immediately.
• PrezBo’s Projects: It’s just Wien, but this has a better ring to it, I guess?

timesuck via Bwog Archives

Bwog staff brainstormed to match the personality of Columbia colleges to their respective alcoholic drink.

James Bond drinks martinis, but honestly we’re not that classy.

CC students are overwhelmingly vanilla. Think gin & tonic and vodka cranberry. Basically, anything of which Ron Swanson would not approve. The language kids, however, are known for the unremarkable red and white wines served at every open house. We like to think that these bottles are from treasure-trove shipwrecks in the Mediterranean, but in reality they’ve probably been lurking in the dusty cabinets of the Classics professors for decades.

SEAS students rarely get wild because they’re on that 24/7 study grind. They run on sole adrenaline. Virgin cocktails only– Shirley Temples are favorites. Stay on high alert for wasted SEAS students– they’re an endangered species.

One of our Bwog staffers nailed Barnard. “Coconut rum & hibiscus tea: perfectly reminiscent of the classy / trashy barnard girl dichotomy AND effectively mimics every white barnard girl from new england’s fake tan bc she wants to seem well-traveled.” ‘Nuff said.

GS students like people to think that they’re gruff and old-school. Prefers neat whiskey/jagermeister concoctions. Alternatively, whatever’s on tap at Arts & Crafts.

Image via Bwog Archives

In an email sent out this morning, President Beilock and Dean Hinkson announced that Olympic soccer gold medalist and activist Abby Wambach will be the speaker at Barnard’s 2018 Commencement, which will take place on May 16 in Radio City Music Hall. Wambach, alongside delivering the keynote address, has also received the Barnard Medal of Distinction.

Barnard has also awarded three other individuals with the medal, including: Katherine Johnson, pioneering mathematician and computer scientist featured in Hidden Figures; Rhea Suh ’92, environmental policy expert; Anna Quindlen ’74, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and Barnard Board Chair.

The full announcement email has been included below.

Dear Barnard Seniors and Barnard Community,

It is our pleasure to announce the distinguished speaker and medalists for Commencement 2018. We are honored that Abby Wambach, soccer star, Olympic gold medalist, and activist, will deliver the keynote address and receive the Barnard Medal of Distinction. In addition to being the all-time leading scorer in international soccer history with 184 career goals, Abby has led the fight for pay equity for women and has been a strong advocate for gender rights and, more specifically, the rights of the LGBTQ community. Like many Barnard students, faculty and alumnae, Abby has used her career success to advance issues of importance for women and for society as a whole.

Joining our speaker and medalist, Abby Wambach, will be three other medalists who, through their lives and work, embody Barnard’s commitment to academic excellence and to making a difference in the world. The medalists are: Katherine Johnson, acclaimed mathematician, computer scientist, and one of the three history-making women in the book and feature film Hidden Figures; Rhea Suh ’92, environmental policy expert and president of the Natural Resources Defense Council; and Barnard Board Chair Emerita Anna Quindlen ’74, distinguished author and Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist. Thanks are due to the Medalist Committee for their help in selecting our honorees, as well as to those who participated in the Commencement speaker conversations.

Read full bios of the medalists at: https://barnard.edu/news/olympic-medalist-and-world-cup-champion-abby-wambach-named-barnard-college-commencement-speaker

Barnard’s 126th Commencement will take place on Wednesday, May 16, 2018, at 4:00 p.m., at Radio City Music Hall. Before the ceremony, the Class of 2018 will gather on campus for a celebratory reception with friends, family, and faculty. Bus transportation to Radio City Music Hall will be provided for all graduates, departing from Barnard at 2:30 p.m.

The University Commencement will also take place on the morning of Wednesday, May 16. More information and updates about both Commencement ceremonies will be posted over the next several weeks at www.barnard.edu/commencement.

We very much look forward to celebrating the spectacular achievements of the Barnard Class of 2018 on Wednesday, May 16.

Sincerely,

Sian Leah Beilock
President

Avis Hinkson
Dean of the College

Abby Wambach via Wikimedia Commons [CC BY 3.0],

Now you don’t have to leave the Columbia Bubble to see some great movies!

The Barnard-hosted Athena film festival is back this weekend for its 8th year in a row! The festival features the work of women in the film and media industry and highlights those who have helped to increase representation of women in film. Below are some of the highlights and activities most which to look forward.

• Thursday 2/22, 4:00 pm at the Diana Event Oval: The first event is a premiere of the new season of Lifetime show UnREAL, followed by a discussion with cast and crew.
• Thursday 2/22, 7:00 pm at Diana Event Oval: The opening night film screening is Battle of the Sexes, featuring a post-screening conversation with film subject Billie Jean King.
• Friday 2/23, 6:00 pm at Lehman Auditorium: Screening of Chavela, which follows the story of Chavela Vargas, beloved Mexican performer.
• Friday 2/23, 9:00 pm at Miller Theatre: A natural choice for a Barnard film festival, of course, is the screening of Lady Bird – directed by now Oscar-nominated Barnard alumna Greta Gerwig.
• Saturday 2/24, 12:00 pm at Altschul Atrium: The festival this year is featuring two virtual reality experiences – come through to see three short virtual reality programs.
• Saturday 2/24, 4:00 pm in the James Room: A panel called Female Gaze, continuing the conversation about increasing female storytellers in Hollywood.
• Saturday 2/24, 6:00 pm at Diana Event Oval: The centerpiece film is MANKILLER, following the life of Wilma Mankiller, “a community organizer-turned-political leader who defied all odds to make a difference for her people.”
• Sunday 2/25, 12:00 pm at Minor Latham Playhouse: A free screening of Moana! Tickets are free, but RSVP is required.
• Sunday 2/25, 6:00 pm at Diana Event Oval: Closing Night Screening of The Post.

You can find more information and the entire schedule of events and screenings on the Athena Film Festival’s website. We’ll also be covering quite a few of the screenings, panels, and events, so stay tuned!

a cool logo via Athena Film Festival

When’s the last time you had one email in your inbox?

If you’re a senior who’s tired of not having an answer to the question, “what are you doing after you graduate,” you may have applied to graduate school. But if you ever put your name on a mailing list, you’re bound to receive emails from hundreds of schools you didn’t even know existed. Take a look at this rough categorization of practically every email you’ll receive during the grad school grind. (Everything in quotes comes from a real email I have received.)

The Seasonal Email. “Thanksgiving Greetings from [School]!”  Schools seem to think that reminding you of the month you are currently in is a good marketing strategy. Thanksgiving and “the Holidays” rank at the top for this flavor of email, but you can expect to see at least a few for every minor event from Groundhog Day to Flag Day.

The First Person Email. “I’m Giving You an Application Fee Waiver Because I Want You to Apply.” In an inbox full of impersonal subject lines, the First Person Email tries to stand out by striking up a conversation. Of course, the admissions officer who sent this to you sent the exact same message to thousands of other applicants.

The “There’s Still Time” Email. “There is Still Time to Apply for Early Decision.” Nearing a deadline can fill a student with a sense of dread – it seems not worth the effort to slap together an application when you won’t have the time to make it good. This email is actually a useful reminder. You have plenty of time to fill out this app, as long as you start now. Surely, these will only occur once per admissions season.

The Fun, Personable Email. “Law Schools Have Personalities. Find Your Match.” Like the First Person Email, this type grabs your attention by not being quite as formal as your average correspondence. Unfortunately, it contains all the same boring stuff on the inside, unless it’s the rare, fully-in-character email that tells you about it just “mailed you a bundle o’ information.”

The Misspelled Email. “Application Fee Waiver to [School] Expires Febryuary 1st – Apply Today.” Any school drops about twenty ranks in prestige whenever you catch an error like this. At least you know they won’t take points off if your resume has a typo in it.

The Positive Email. “Ready for the big test? Of course you are!” Is this email hopping on the wholesome memes trend, or does it genuinely care for your well-being? This is a nice email to see, but it doesn’t leave a strong impression about the school. But if every school in the country sent this message, we’d live in a better place.

The “There’s Still Time” Email. “Hi! There’s still time to apply.” Oh, this email is back, and it’s back two months later. You missed the priority deadline, but there’s another one coming up! This email concludes that you didn’t apply the first time because you were rushed or nervous. Surely you’ll apply this time!”

The Accidental Spam Email. “Ten Reasons You Should Apply to [School].” While it’s less embarrassing than the Accidental Acceptance Email, this spam occurs when the email system glitches. It might send five emails in quick succession, or it might forget to fill in your name and send a generic form email. Whatever the reason, the advertisement probably didn’t make you want to apply.

Plenty more email archetypes after the jump.

catholic churches are really pretty, but if you’re irish you don’t have to learn about them

Happening in the World: Ireland has ordered that state-run secondary schools can no longer assume that students will receive religious instruction and must offer alternatives to religion classes. Previously, though no student was required to take the class, all students were enrolled unless they opted out and often no alternative courses were provided.  (NYT)

Happening in the US: After the school shooting in Florida last week that left 17 dead, Donald Trump has endorsed arming teachers in order to prevent school shootings. Because your high school bio teacher who can’t figure out how to use Google should definitely also have a gun. (BBC)

Happening in NYC: The warm weather yesterday was not only an amazing break from our seasonal depression, but also record-breaking. By midday, we hit 78 degrees, 10 degrees higher than the previous record set in 1930, which is nice until you remember global warming. (CBS New York)

Happening on Campus: The Human Rights Program at Barnard will be hosting a panel discussion on Education and Incarceration. The panel begins at 6:10 pm in 223 Milbank Hall.

Overheard: “Is it weird that I’m really into tuberculosis right now?”

Word of the Day: Somnambulism, a fancy English word for sleepwalking because with all the late nights in Butler we’ve been racking up, this is how we feel on the inside.

riverside is basically ireland right? via Bwog Archives