Open Meeting Announcement: Forgive Me Father
Written by Levi Cohen
This Open Meeting Announcement was brought to you by Establishment Religion™ in the form of a classic catechism. Apologies for any potential sacrilege.
What is the chief end of man?
Man’s chief end is to go to Bwog’s meeting tonight, and to enjoy Bwog forever.
What rule hath Bwog given to direct us how we may glorify and enjoy it?
That we come to Bwog’s open meeting with a pitch in tow, so that we may glorify and enjoy it.
What does Bwog principally teach?
That the meeting is at 9:00 pm tonight in Lerner 510.
What is Bwog?
Bwog is a Spirit, infinite, eternal, and unchangeable, in its being, wisdom, power, green grapes, justice, goodness, and truth.
Are there more Bwogs than one?
There is but one only, the living and true Bwog.
How many persons are there in the Bwoghead?
There are ten persons in the Bwoghead: the Editor in Chief, the Managing Editor, the Internal Editor, the Social Media, Arts, Events, Sports, and Science Editors, and the twinned Deputy Editors; and these ten are one Bwog, the same in substance.
What are the decrees of Bwog?
The decrees of Bwog are, its eternal purpose, to report on campus news, to review campus events, and for its own glory, to tell campus stories.
How doth Bwog execute its decrees?
Bwog executeth its decrees in the works of creation and providence.
What is the work of creation?
The work of creation is, Bwog’s making all posts, by the word of its power, seven days a week, and all very good.
How did Bwog create man?
Bwog did not create man.
Martin Luther via Wikimedia Commons.