Goodnight Problematic Men

Written by

A Columbia man congratulating himself for doing nothing

Inspired by Margaret Wise Brown’s best-selling children’s book Goodnight Moon, Friday Daily Editor and former associate of men Idris O’Neill has a message for all those Columbia boys in language they’ll understand. 

In the great Ivy school

There were some frats

And male feminists

And a guy overheard

With proud sexist prejudice

And there were three sports teams sitting in Hewitt

And two ex-hookups

Who’d both sadly blew it

And that guy in your WGST seminar

And that tenured rumored predator

And a guy who cut me in line at Diana

And his other friends with no manners

Goodnight frat men

Goodnight male feminists

Goodnight all guys with implicit prejudice

Goodnight sports teams

And good riddance to old hookups

Goodnight cis male gender studies majors

Goodnight sketchy professors

Goodnight asshole

And goodnight to your friends –

I hope to never encounter you again.

Goodnight EC sign in

For asking for return favors

And goodnight my male friends

(Your friendship with a woman is not your savior).

Goodnight Columbia; and

Good problematic men everywhere

Male feminist via Public Domain Images

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