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Ghislaine Pages wants de Blasio to close Rikers Island, and wants all of us to find therapists. Read all about it in her senior wisdom.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Ghislaine-Marie Pages. Barnard. Political Science. SEATTLE (like actual Seattle, not this Issaquah, Bainbridge Island, Sammamish, Tacoma, Vancouver, Bellevue BS… SEATTLE).

Claim to fame: Excessively vulnerable pieces in campus publications.

Where are you going? 16 blocks uptown, working at Columbia Law School.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. To the sweet, sweet men of the class of 2022: there will be a lot of pressure for you to engage with women in a transactional way that discounts both of your humanity. People are tender. You are tender. That’s ok. Working to truly respect yourself and allow yourself a range of emotional experiences will make you have much more satisfying interactions with women, if you’re into that. College is hard; you miss your mom; your finance internship is terrifying and stressful; you’re insecure that you play baseball and not soccer…that’s ok, just don’t treat women around you shittily as a coping mechanism. Find a therapist you like and visit them often.

But wait, there’s more…

Our president, bravely facing the adversaries

Bwog Finance does more than just your personal banking–we help explain world phenomena, too! Check out our latest column, offering a digestible overview of Trump’s trade war with China (and other countries). Remember, if you have questions or column topic ideas, email finance@bwog.com.

If you read the news, or follow my twitter account, you may have heard about Trump’s trade war with China. The “war” hasn’t really started yet–it’s just a looming possibility, spurred by Trump’s proposed tariffs on imports from China. Talks between the U.S. and China to avert a trade war began on Wednesday and ended yesterday. The talks were inconclusive, so a trade war is still possible–and China has said it will fight to the end if one breaks out.

What is a trade war, anyway? It’s when two countries go back and forth imposing high tariffs (read: taxes) on each other’s imported stuff. This means there’s less trade between these countries (and maybe proxy countries as well). Read this Vox article to learn more.

Why should you care? Because, even though you’re not directly importing things from China, this could have drastic effects on the stock market. And even if you’re not directly invested in stocks, this is still bad news, because a lagging market will affect all kinds of things–job opportunities, your parents’ retirement funds, even interest rates. Speaking of your parents, you’ll probably be hanging with them again soon since it’s the end of the semester. We’ve compiled a list of six fast facts about the trade war so you can show them you’re learning a lot and are capable of holding an impressive conversation.

Six Things To Know About The Trade War

1. On May 3, 1,100 economists signed a letter telling Trump not to impose tarrifs.
2. It’s not just China! In March, Trump announced tariffs on all steel and aluminum imports, from any country.
3. Trump wants tariffs for China specifically because of the huge, $375 billion trade deficit with China.
4. A trade deficit means we’re importing more from China than we’re exporting to them.
5. The dollar is weak right now, compared to a lot of other currencies. That means it’s worth less. But a weak dollar helps companies that want to export to China. So it’s a good and a bad thing.
6. It’s not clear who “won” the U.S.-China talks or if there’s even a winner! Based on your parents’ political leanings, you can say: a) U.S. won. b) China won. c) There is no winner. d) Trade war is imminent.

Happy studying, and maybe try to reinvest your stocks/change your investments to bonds or something less volatile longterm (you didn’t hear it from us!).

Trump pic via Wikimedia Commons, by Michael Vadon [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)]

Wing-Sum looking badass

You might have seen Wing-Sum Law (and/or her choreography) in Raw Elementz, and now you get to hear from her in her senior wisdom.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Wing-Sum Law; SEAS; Mechanical Engineering; Shoreline, WA

Claim to fame: Questioning mechanical engineering curriculum choices in front of the entire class

Where are you going? Stanford, for my PhD

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. If you can say it in fewer, shorter words, do so. Excessively high-brow language only makes statements unclear and inaccessible.

2. You should see a therapist when you feel overwhelmed. They are literally professionals in unpacking emotions and determining healthy coping mechanisms. I’ve heard people say that they aren’t anxious/depressed/whatever enough to see a therapist, but there isn’t some magical threshold at which it’s time to see one. Besides, it’s much better to see one for preventative strategies before you’re in crisis mode. So take the leap and make an appointment!

Thoughts on Pupin and more after the jump

Nice scarf, Sam!

This next senior wisdom is from Sam Falcone, leader in the Columbia Socialists, who describes himself as “the least quantitatively-inclined aspiring economist since Karl Marx.”

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Sam Falcone-Coffin; History and Economics; Hinesburg, Vermont.

Claim to fame: Being that lefty kid your history class who always wanted to continue the conversation afterwards and was always in Butler 209.

Also, being the least quantitatively-inclined aspiring economist since Karl Marx.

Where are you going? In the short term, to the David N. Dinkins Municipal Building, to pursue a career as a civil servant for the City of New York in the office of the NYC Comptroller Scott Stringer.

Also, to continue writing and researching. I hope to complete the next chapter of my thesis and continue my nascent career as an amateur journalist.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. Like the world, Columbia is filled with all sorts of brilliant people doing incredibly interesting things. This can be profoundly inspiring, but also deeply intimidating. You are brilliant too, in your own way. If you can, try not to forget that even when this school and world tries to tell you otherwise. You’ll face trying times as a student here. But you’re always doing better than you think. Just keep humbly chugging along.

2. I had the pleasure of meeting many wonderful people at Columbia. If you are lucky enough to have this experience, treat your people well. Never forget tell the people in your life you’re grateful for them. Much more importantly, never forget to show them.

What else does Sam have to say?

We’re not sure if this expression means he’s having a good time or being held hostage just out of frame

Today’s first senior wisdom is from Matt Neky, who reminds us to stay hydrated, stay compassionate, and go to Hamdel.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Matt Neky, Columbia College, Biochemistry, Pittsburgh

Claim to fame: Posting a video of myself wall twerking in the class of 2018 group, having a messy snap story that has been described by multiple friends as “disturbing” at times, drinking two glasses of milk with every meal, yelling “SAVE THE BEES” at strangers, serving as Columbia’s foremost “Ted Cruz Is the Zodiac Killer” conspiracy theorist, the muse of the “Reasons We Are PROUD of Matt Neky” Facebook page, sleeping naked every night even though I’ve lived in a double every single year of college, peeing on JJ’s, tagging Deantini in memes, and (most importantly) my obsession with cheese.

Where are you going? In the long-term, probably Hell if we are being honest with ourselves here. In the short-term, New York City.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. Hamdel is not a restaurant; it is a mental wellness center. The kind employees of Hamilton Deli have witnessed pretty much the entire range of emotions I am capable of displaying over the course of my four years: they have seen me happy and enjoying my night with friends, they have seen me on the verge of tears after someone broke my heart, they have seen me completely exhausted after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, they have seen me exhibit ~altered states of consciousness~ (insert MLA citation of the “Science of Psych” textbook here), they have seen me looking triumphant and proud of what I have accomplished that day, and they have seen me looking frustrated and embarrassed because I thought I was screwing up my life. But every time I walk in, I know that I’m going to be met with a smile and a friendly greeting and sometimes it is the small acts of kindness from strangers that will change your perspective and get you through the day.

Beatles references and more after the jump

“Marsquakes” are the next big thing

Bwogline: NASA has launched its latest mission to Mars, called InSight. It’s due to land in November and will place seismometers on Mars’ surface to detect any tectonic activity, hoping to reveal how the underground rock is layered and provide insight (ha!) on the relative time of the planets’ formation. (BBC)

Study Tip: If you’re feeling burnt out, or if your brain just can’t take anymore, don’t push yourself to go further. Take a break because you’re not going to absorb any information if you continue.

Procrastination Tip: Use the time you have (or don’t have) to finally go to that cool restaurant downtown you’ve been meaning to go to since September.

Music:

Overheard: Girl to a bush near a sprinkler: “Stop peeing on me! What are you, a Columbia rower?”

Image via Pixabay