Daily Archive: May 8, 2018

May

8

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Bwog continues its fieldwork on overworked and excessively stressed college students, pulling three all-nighters in a row in solidarity. We may be delirious, but surely we can’t be hallucinating all of this. Here’s what this year’s finals have brought us.

Strange Encounters of the MoHi Kind

  • “Man crossing 113th alone with both arms raised in the air saying loudly:  It’s summertime! It’s summertime! It’s summertime! It’s summertime! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.'”
  • (at 10 pm on a Tuesday) “guy across from me in Butler just pulled out a bag full of three poppyseed bagels… he just pulled one out and bit into it… he ate a whole one and now he’s on to number two”
  • “someone random plugged their computer charger into the outlet at my cubicle when I went to the bathroom”
  • “Woman saying to her 10 y/o son in a heavy Eastern European accent ‘you haf to take your finals'”
  • “Got fully saged outside of Butler. If it really were expelling my negative energy, I wouldn’t have to take finals.”
  • The fire alarm being pulled in Butler & the subsequent reveal of students who would rather die than leave

A visual art major’s thesis on stress culture

everything that’s ever been featured in my stress nightmares via Bwog Staff

May

8

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Ah, yes. Finals week. The time of year when we here at Bwog get the most flak for the writing the most nonsensical posts. “This isn’t journalism,” you might argue. And you might be right. But great outcomes come from the smallest ideas, as someone probably once said or something. And this post came from a small idea: we misheard someone saying “campus figure” as “campus finger,” and we knew we were onto something. So, here are fingers of Bwog staff members as important campus figures and institutions. If you have a finger you think represents a figure not mentioned here, leave it in the comments below!

May

8

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Today’s Senior Wisdom poses are fire.

Need a good laugh and some words of encouragement to get through the day? Check out what Simi Olagundoye has to say about her time at Barnard. 

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Simi aka Sim Simma aka ya favourite Aunty, Barnard, Urban Studies (concentration in Africana studies), NYC via Lagos, Nigeria

Claim to fame: Retired co-president of the Black owned club that is Bacchanal, constantly inviting people to Well-Woman, took a class just to write a paper on Vin Diesel, and publicly out as a Sagittarius

Where are you going? Where am I not going?

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

Allow yourself to breathe and explore. Don’t force yourself into spaces because there are so many open doors that’ll allow you to grow and be yourself. Literally do *whatever* you want as long as it’s not harmful.
ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF! To quote a good friend “closed mouths don’t get fed”. ASK FOR EXTENSIONS/INCOMPLETES IN CLASSES IF YOU NEED!!! If a club/organisation is unnecessarily adding to your stress/unhappiness leave it. There is *no* shame in saying you need time/space because your health, both physical and mental, matters!!! Take up space when you need it and really figure out ways you can take care of yourself.

More words of wisdom after the jump

May

8

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Is Maddie at the Met Gala?

We have just four years to figure a lot of shit out. Being a Barnard student has its ups and downs, but Maddie Molot has some advice that might just make your time here a whole lot easier. 

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Maddie Molot, Barnard, Neuroscience, Woodbridge, CT

Claim to fame: Orchesis, camp kesem, wind ensemble, spec, varsity show, CMTS. Also can be seen lurking creepily in the back of pretty much every random campus event (usually because I’m taking photos of it, but sometimes just lurking)

Where are you going? I’m going to Diana to get a BBQ chicken pizza, where are you going?

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?
Go to stuff! There are so many amazing lectures, concerts, art shows, conferences, dance and theater performances, (even sports I guess??? Lol idk) going on all the time on campus. And most of the time they are free or very cheap! Go support your friends when they put on an event or have a show, it’ll mean a lot to them and you’ll prolly have a fun time too!

Looking for a good place to poop?

May

8

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A POWER POSE!

In our second Senior Wisdom, we’ve got Nza-Ari Khepra, future McKinsey employee and former Bacchanal President. Her greatest accomplishment? Graduating in one piece.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Nza-Ari Khepra, Columbia College, Chicago, IL

Claim to fame: I honestly have no clue…Bacchanal President? Gun violence prevention work? Still not sure I can claim fame.

Where are you going? Home! Catch me in Chicago, consulting for McKinsey.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

You’re not here to compare yourself. I know this seems like it’s a generic statement, but during my time here, I was surprised to see how many people allow comparison to negatively influence their mental and physical states. I understand many of you are going to pursue higher degrees or trying to get the best jobs out there, but those opportunities will be inaccessible if you break yourself trying to “keep up” with the stress culture this school and city permeates. Graduating in one piece, figuratively and literally, should be your one and only goal. Do that at your own pace, because you can’t compare where you don’t compete honeyyyyy (;

She’s right though

May

8

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The wise Miss Frizzle from The Magic School Bus once said, “Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy.” Learn about how senior Alangoya Tezel managed to do it all below. 

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Alangoya Tezel; Columbia College, Neuroscience and Behavior/Philosophy double major; Louisville, Kentucky

Claim to fame: During a Faculty House lunch, I convinced Mowsh to rename her problem book “The Learning Manual.” I’ve been the Victoria’s Secret PINK campus rep for two years, and I passed the Swim Test without knowing how to swim. I convinced my friend AJ to drop pre-med to pursue botany.

Where are you going? Medical school, I think? Practicing Emergency Medicine sounds like the dream.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

I’ve talked to so many first-years who feel like they have nothing figured out. In retrospect, I guess I felt like that, too. Just take it slow and remember that you have time to find your people (and you will) and you have time to find out where you want to be. In the meantime, hold onto the knowledge that everyone, albeit in varying degrees, feels the same way you do. This isn’t meant to be a negative thing but a communal experience. We’re all in this scary, transformative experience at Columbia together. You’re exactly where you need to be.

Apply for everything, even if you feel completely unqualified. One of the most powerful things one of my mentors told me is that “whether you say you can or you can’t, either way you are right.” I’ve gotten so many positions and jobs I never thought I would get, but because I was bold enough to apply and confident enough to believe in myself, I got them and learned so much. College, maybe more than any other stage of life, is about creating yourself, not finding yourself. Figure out what kind of person you want to be and try to put yourself in the experiences you need to be that person.

More wisdom after the jump

May

8

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Maybe Elon is just looking for the top lip to his bottom lip.

Bwogline: Who the hell is on Melania Trump’s staff that they keep plagiarizing her stuff? She put out a brochure on cyberbullying (the irony is still insane) called “Be Best”, and many noticed that its contents are “nearly identical” to an Obama-era booklet on the same topic. Citations are not that hard, guys. (BBC)

Study Tip: E-mail your TA with any last questions, and one of them may as well be “Do you want to get lunch sometime?”

Music: Restore your self confidence with this 2013 bop by Justin Bieber while imagining all the crazy shit he would have done with the Met Gala theme. Probably host a church service or something tbh.

Procrastination Tip: Pack up your stuff and clean your room! No late or cleaning fines > good final grades.

Overheard: “I know all of Twitter is shitting on Grimes, but come on y’all, who wouldn’t hop at Elon as a sugar daddy?”

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