The eyeshadow almost makes it okay.

The Barnard dorms have gotten a lot of attention this semester because of the heat crisis. However, new Bwog Staffer, Elizabeth Burton, thinks that there are far more pressing problems – such as randomly appearing mannequin heads in her quad’s common room. After several weeks of confusion and (slight) discomfort, she decided to sit down (???) with the mannequin and find out what exactly was going on. 

Bwog: First off, what is your name? Do you actually have a name? 

Mannequin Head: Yes, it’s Viola.

Bwog: Interesting. Where exactly do you come from? 

Viola: This part is not exactly clear since I’m literally just a head sitting on a desk, but I am part of a long-standing summer camp tradition where bodiless mannequins like myself are used to scare young, unsuspecting children. Sometimes I scare counselors, too. I’ve found that most people tend to be at least a little bothered by a floating head staring at them.

Bwog: How did you end up at Barnard? 

Viola: After someone decided that string lights, posters, and plants just weren’t going to cut it for dorm decorations, I was shipped here. Since the Brooks quad rooms are small and narrow AF, I felt that I’d be more at home on a desk in the common room.

Bwog: Do you have a favorite spot on the desk? I hear you move around sometimes. 

Viola: It took a little while to get adjusted, but I really like to be on the top of the desk so that my eyes peer into your soul when you walk into the room. My favorite part of the day is seeing someone come home and jump a little when they forgot that I’m still here and always watching.

Bwog: Since the rest of us spend so much time out of the room, is there anything you like to do when you have the suite to yourself? 

Viola: This isn’t Toy Story. I literally just sit here and pretend I can smell the Shake Shack outside the window and wait until the next time I get to scare someone. It’s not that exciting.

Bwog: What about during the heat wave? How did you deal with it? 

Viola: Since I am only a head, it didn’t bother me much. I hear it was quite the ordeal, especially for those privileged residents who had never experienced any type of discomfort before. By the time it started to cool down, everyone in the quad insisted on leaving their brand new tower fans running out of spite. I guess it made them feel better about having spent 100s of dollars, though.

Bwog: Is there anything else that you’d like readers to know? 

Viola: Use the side door if you’re visiting the suite.

Haunting your dreams via Bwog Staff

learn how your brain processes britney spears in the narrative medicine talk on wednesday!

We’re back with Science Fair, Bwog’s weekly curated list of interesting STEM-related talks, symposiums, and events happening on campus. For science and non-science majors alike, our list will bring you events that will satisfy your scientific curiosity for everything from astronomy to zoology, and everything in between.

For anyone, related-majors and non-majors alike:

• India Global Design Challenge
  • Tuesday, October 2, 5:30pm, Davis Auditorium in Schapiro (kickoff to learn about actual upcoming design challenge, scheduled for Saturday, October 6th at 10am), more info here
  • Description: “Columbia Engineering is pleased to be working with Columbia’s Mumbai Global Center to launch a collaborative design challenge that will bring engineering, planning, public health, policy, business, and many other disciplines together… At the end of the Fall semester, three teams will be selected to travel to India in early January to further refine their designs. The winning team, which will be selected during the Spring semester, will have the opportunity to return to India in late May.”
• Columbia Astronomy Outreach: “Slooh Your Way To The Stars”
  • Friday, October 5, 7pm, Pupin Hall, more info here
  • Description: “Slooh is an online observatory that livestreams telescope feeds for public viewing and use. We have a wealth of amateur astronomers discovering comets, tracking asteroids, and spotting supernovae. In this talk I will provide an overview of our technology and the unique ways our members are using Slooh telescopes.” Event followed by guided stargazing with telescopes (weather permitting)
• Narrative Medicine Rounds: “Music and the Brain: How Our Lives in Sound Shape Who We Are” 
  • Wednesday  October 3, 5-7pm, Faculty Club of CUMC (Medical Campus), more info here
  • Description: “‘The talk will center on the ways sound processing in the brain is a reflection of brain health. How our brains respond to sound reveals each person’s unique narrative of their life experiences.”

Click here for dark matter and more!

The 2007 masterpiece in question, available on BluRay if you’re interested in viewing

Bwogger Cara is back, this time not to cook, but to speak on behalf of another budding chef in Morningside Heights.

No matter what happens during the day, there’s always something I can count on while walking past Friedman’s on the way to Plimpton. On Amsterdam, in between 118th and 119th, I see the same rat every night—hiding under a Friedman’s chair, poking their nose through the chicken wire fence of the community garden, or just standing nonchalantly in the middle of the sidewalk like a renegade. For many Columbia students, this rat is one of the more reliable and comforting presences in their life. But what if this rat has more to offer than a direct campus-to-dorm escort? What he’s the one providing us with Friedman’s delicious farm-to-table offerings?

Yes, I am talking about a Ratatouille (Disney Pixar 2007) situation wherein a rat is responsible for the food produced a professional kitchen. For those of you that haven’t seen the film, Remy (voiced by Patton Oswalt), is a rat gifted with an exceptional sense of smell who works his way up the ranks at a prestigious French restaurant by controlling a human chef’s movements from inside his hat. The Friedman’s rat clearly parallels many of the characteristics exhibited by Remy in the 1 hour and 51 minutes of Brad Bird’s movie. Like Remy, the Friedman’s rat is clearly not fazed at all by human presence. He scurries up Amsterdam like they owns it. He’s dedicated—I’ve seen him every single night since the semester started. And he’s specifically chosen to make a home for himself in the rat-eat-rat world of a major city’s restaurant business.

Now, you may say I’m sullying the Friedman’s name by claiming that its resident rat is the one crafting their signature Friedman’s All Natural Angus Beef Burger with their paws. To those who question his talents, I would ask that you reflect on the words that Remy and his hero Chef Gusteau lived by: Anyone Can Cook. Can we really claim to uphold Columbia University’s motto, In Lumine Tuo Videbimus Lumen, In Thy Light shall we See light, if we do not uplift the talent of the scrappy young chef who is providing us with the best fried chicken in Morningside? Also, Friedman’s still has an A rating so clearly the rat is washing his paws.

The next time you’re walking up Amsterdam, please stop and tip your hat to my friend, the Friedman’s rat, who risks everything to follow his dream of being the head chef at Morningside’s number one favorite—okay, like number three favorite—brunch spot.

Photo via Flickr

we feast at dawn

So, it has come to my attention that some people don’t like breakfast… I’m sorry, but WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? It can be just as creative and multi-faceted as any other meal (sweet, savory, salty, creamy, crispy, etc) and can set the tone for the rest of your entire day. Or, if you are like me, can help end your day on a good note (I’m talking omelets and Nutella waffles for dinner, people). Anyways, in an attempt to convert all of you breakfast haters, here’s a fool proof recipe for classic French toast.

First, get out your bread. It should be somewhat stale, but at its prime, it was a fluffy loaf of glory with a nice crunchy crust. (French bread works great. If you were feeling really fancy, you could get some sort of bread with cinnamon raisin or marbled chocolate. Oooh– like chocolate babka from Bread’s Bakery.) Cut into thick slices. Then, whisk together two eggs, a cup of milk, a dash of salt, a dash of vanilla and some cinnamon in a wide bowl. Dip bread slices into the milky egg mixture until soaked through on both sides.

Heat up a pan and brush generously with melted butter. Cook bread on both sides until golden. Slather with more butter and sprinkle with powdered sugar. Serve with fresh berries, maple syrup, Nutella, or whatever your heart desires.

breaking my fast the best way via Wikimedia

look how peaceful… but is it really?

Bucket List represents the intellectual privilege we enjoy as Columbia students. We do our very best to bring to your attention important guest lecturers and special events on campus. Our recommendations for this week are below, and the full list is after the jump. If you notice any events that have been left off the list, or if you have a correction, please let us know in the comments.

Recommended

• “Engaging Boys for Gender Justice.” Monday, October 1. 1 – 2 PM. IAB, Room 8o1. Dr. Urvashi Sahn.
• “A Tribute to Lucie Brock-Broido.” Wednesday, October 3, 6:30 – 8:30 PM. Miller Theater. co-presented by the Academy of American Poets, Alfred A. Knopf, The Poetry Foundation, Poets House, and the Poetry Society of America. Register here.
• “Global Language Mellon Sawyer Seminar: The Tower of Babel: Human Rights and the Paradox of Language.” Thursday, October 4, 6:15 PM. The Heyman Center, Second Floor Common Room. Moira Paz.

Masculinity, Nazis and more after the jump.

we forgive you

Someone ate our grapes, and the culprit was quite the poet (sounds oddly like William Carlos Williams). Attached is the note from our resident Grape Grubber. If you want a taste of these highly prized fruits of the deciduous woody vine (we restocked!)— or you just love Bwog — come to our open meeting tonight!

This Is Just To Say

I have eaten
the green grapes
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for the Bwog meeting at 9pm in Lerner 510

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

Image via Wikimedia

vroom vroom bitches next stop carbon neutral

Bwog’s got a newsletter! If you love saucy details and salacious intrigue, you’ve come to exactly the right place. Sign up here!

Happening in the World: A magnitude-7.5 earthquake and tsunami struck the island of Sulawesi, Indonesia this past Friday, impacting 2.4 million people. The number of casualties has risen to 832 as of today, with hundreds injured and 17,000 left homeless. Recovery efforts in Palu, a nearby coastal city that was devastated by the disaster, have been hindered by lack of heavy equipment and rescue personnel.

Happening in the US: In wake of Dr. Blasey Ford’s testimony and the national conversation on sexual assault, the Women’s March will be rallied again, this time scheduled for January 19, 2019. Organizers of the March hope to seize the momentum of resistance against Judge Kavanaugh’s nomination and the incoming 2018 midterms (are you registered to vote?) to make a strong showing for 2020.

Happening in NYC: The Port Authority board voted unanimously to raise NY and NJ airport workers’ pay to $19 per hour by 2023. Several years of negotiations between the Port Authority and unionized airport workers have led to implementation of the highest public sector minimum wage in the country.

Happening on Campus: Oh hello, sustainability. Columbia’s electric bus initiative is rolling out the zero-emissions squad at the Sundial this Tuesday, from 11am to 6pm. Stop by to learn more about the bus features!

Overseen/Overheard:

ochre is trending this fall creds sarah kinney

The College Walk trees took one sniff of autumnal air and just went wild. I mean, have you seen that yellow? It personally handed me a pumpkin spice latte.

Tweet of the Day:

me: goodnight moon :)
moon: night<3
me: goodnight stars :)
moon: wtf
me: sry wrongnumber
moon: whos stars
moon: who is stars
moon: answer me

— jonny sun (@jonnysun) October 21, 2014

Image via Columbia