The Secret Re-Agent Of The Barnard Chemisty Department

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Their weapons of choice

The Barnard Chemistry Department has been hiding something from us. Something…mysterious. Something…menacing. Something…mole-evolent.   

Have you ever had a day in chem lab in which nothing went right? A spilled solvent, a broken test tube, sniffing a chemical you clearly should have wafted? Have you ever thought that the chem department has just had it out for you?

Well, perhaps it does. At least, its most effective weapon against a chem student’s GPA might. For deep in the recesses of the Altschul Hall, beyond an entrance only the most august of chemists can pass, lies the lair of the Secret Re-Agent.

Some say they like their solutions shaken, not stirred. Some call them Bond – Chemical Bond. Some say their only solace is quantum mechanics. The one thing anyone knows is that they know nothing.

But their presence explains the strangest of phenomena. A low percent yield? Simple, they must have pilfered some of your product the second your eyes left that flask. Have you ever wondered about what strange force led you to trip and spill every chemical you were holding? Clearly, the Re-Agent “bumped” into you, precipitating your current predicament. What is their mission? We can only speculate.

If you dare to find the Re-Agent for yourself, good luck. The Re-Agent is never found unless they want to be found. But if you happen to be successful, never share what you have learned…it is for your eyes only.

Tools of oppression via Bwog Staff

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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous

    After Nick Touro fired Kristen Gallagher (the eternal ever-nasty TA) she played witches in Shakespearean movies.

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