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Oct

10

img October 10, 20187:00 pmimg 3 Comments

it’s as humid as the rainforest

Welcome to your October tropical vacation, courtesy of global warming! The leaves may be about to change, but it’s SWEATer weather for now.

I come to you from a campus drenched in sweat- and it’s not just from stressing over midterms.

Absolutely nothing seems to be fully dry, and with our lovely City-mandated heat now pumping, even the rare day of misty coolness has no impact, since every building has been transformed into some sort of hellish steam room. And on warm days, temperatures that would otherwise be pleasant or at least tolerable send everyone scurrying for shade and the nearest cool beverage, sweat drenching their summery clothes that look increasingly bizarre as mid-October draws onward. It feels like Satan himself has turned New York into a huge cauldron to steam us all like unfortunate, sweaty little dumplings.

Spare a thought, East Coast types who are more inured to this tortuously subtropical version of “fall,” for the West Coasters among us, who come from a land where the weather is more civilized.  While we’re all in pain, their suffering is almost incalculable- waking up with sheets drenched in sweat (and coming back at the end of the day to find them still damp), forced to wear moisture-wicking gym clothes wherever they go, shuddering at the sensation of pollution condensing out of the air onto their skin. To come from a land where the weather doesn’t try to violently smother you with a wet blanket and get hit with this (during midterms, no less) is a terrible fate.

At this point, please, bring on the blizzards- at least then there’s somewhere to hide. Let’s just hope this grossness breaks before mildew engulfs the entire city.

Photo via Wikipedia Commons

Sep

27

img September 27, 20181:00 pmimg 0 Comments

This looks like “Dear Evan Hansen” meets “The Shining”

Proving Up is a new opera from Opera Omaha written by Missy Mazzoli (music) and Royce Vavrek (libretto). Wednesday the 26th marked its New York premiere (a second performance on Friday the 28th is already sold out).

(Your humble correspondent had never seen an opera in his life before tonight, so if you thought this was the greatest thing since sliced avocado, chalk it up to that.)

Kicking off the Miller Theatre’s 30th season is Proving Up, a dark new opera centered on the Zegner family’s hardships and efforts to get a deed to their land under the Homestead Act in post-Civil War Nebraska. After five brutal years, and the deaths of the two Zegner girls (played by Abigail Nims and Cree Carrico), the rumor comes out that a federal inspector is coming to hand out grants. the family is desperate to finally “prove up” and firmly establish themselves in their new, western home. However, those seeking land must meet the Homestead Act’s strict requirements first- the main issue for many poor farmers in the rural hinterland being the requirement that every house must have a glass window. (Spoilers ahead.)

This the Zegners have, thanks to Johannes (AKA Pa, played by John Moore) and their neighbors, the Yotherses, who “proved up” and got their land deed the previous year. However, the Yotherses then mysteriously vanish, leaving no trace except for a field of “queer little trees” that are variously described as looking like crosses, ivory, or human bones (cheerful!). Pa takes their window, since they’re not using it. In the present, hearing rumors of an approaching inspector, the Zegners hatch a scheme to share the window with their neighbors so everyone can prove up. Miles (played by Michael Slattery) is forced to act as the window’s courier after older brother Peter (played by Sam Shapiro) injures himself and has to be tended to by Ma (played by Talise Trevigne). His dead sisters float around, generally acting creepy.

More spookiness after the jump

Sep

26

img September 26, 20183:17 amimg 4 Comments

:(

Dear whoever you are,

I, like many Carmanites, am now awake at 2:30 in the morning on a Tuesday night (or, rather, and Wednesday morning), thanks to you. This is the fourth time such an event has happened in recent nights- Thursday (was it Thursday? It already feels so fucking long ago I can’t even remember) we had TWO ALARMS in a SINGLE NIGHT (you know, to get the year off to a strong start), and since then on two subsequent nights (Sunday night and this evening/morning/whatever ungodly time it is).

Every time, the fire dept. has shown up, gone inside, and left after a few minutes looking somewhat disappointed, while harried Public Safety officers try to corral sleepy masses of sick freshmen who mill in an aimless, angry mob outside. Or so I assume – as things stand I’ve now only evacuated for two of these shitshows, because the second one on Thursday was just too much for me (or most anyone else) to bear, and almost anything that wakes you up at 2:30 on a Wednesday morning (except an actual fire) is probably worth sleeping through.

Anyways, whoever you are, is it that fucking difficult to walk to Riverside to smoke? Or to go to wherever it is that people burn incense to do that? If you broke your leg or something and literally can’t leave Carman to indulge in whatever combustive activities you’re indulging in, I’m sure at this point the entire hall would be willing to pay for an Uber.

And furthermore, what the ever-loving fuck are you doing up at 2:30 ON A WEDNESDAY MORNING smoking (if that’s what it was)?? Was there NO other time that might have been SLIGHTLY better for you? Get your shit together, we’re like a month in! If you’ve sunk this low by now it’s basically over unless you can pull up. And if you were burning HW or something in some sort of misanthropic pyromaniac rage – I feel you, but please, for the love of God and His saints and angels, please fucking do it somewhere else, so that we don’t all have to suffer (don’t worry, ours is killing us too just fine on its own).

If anyone has knowledge on the whereabouts of the person or persons responsible for this batshit clusterfuckery, please contact the International Criminal Court in the Hague or literally anyone who can make it stopppppppppppp.

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