The not-grey lady

All the news that’s fit to….speechify on South Lawn?

Barnard has just announced that the The New York Times’ executive editor Jill Abramson will be this year’s commencement speaker. She’ll receive a Barnard Medal of Distinction and address the Class of 2012′s 600 graduates on May 14.

DSpar has (surprise!) kind words: “We have so many reasons to value Ms. Abramson’s place in history as the first woman to appear at the top of The New York Times masthead,” she says in the press release, posted in full after the jump, “From her early days as a reporter to her current post as the paper’s executive editor, she has been unfailing in her convictions and a true inspiration.”

Abramson took over as the Times’ first female executive editor in September 2011. She’s best known for her book on Clarence Thomas and–rather pertinently for a graduation speaker–her distinctive drawling voice. She graduated from Harvard in 1976.

Oprah wants to know the secrets of Barnard's radical feminist traditions

Oprah Winfrey, the Messiah  the entertainment mogul, philanthropist, and champion of women’s empowerment is looking for a Barnard student to rep their gender on Oprah’s new show, Oprah Winfrey: the Next Chapter. This is basically The Oprah Winfrey Show (which concluded last year with absurd amounts of fanfare), except instead of in-studio guests, Oprah travels far and wide. It does not seem unreasonable to speculate that the episode might bring her to Morningside.

An e-mail went out from the DSpar’s office inviting students to help Oprah and Gloria Steinem “understand what students at Barnard are thinking these days about the status and circumstances of women.” Somewhat confusingly, the missive is on behalf of the Barnard Center for Research on Women, but directs you to a submission form to be on television.

Talk-show enthusiasts are warned to read the fine print, for not only may they be summoned for a television appearance, but their stories may also be shared with Oprah’s entire network, which includes the all-star line up of Rosie O’Donnell, Nate Berkus, and Drs. Phil and Oz.

Read the solicitation in full

Cheater, cheater, pumpkin-eater.

Two days ago, we took you to that bright, airy temple of the mind, the Reference Room. We talked about the place where you put your butt. Bwog’s CC professor said that Plato is OK with sitting, so long as you’re thinking, so tonight we’re headed to another thinking-place, Milbank.

If you’re sitting in Milbank Hall, there’s a significant chance you’re in a Psych class. And if you’re in a Psych class, there’s a large chance it started at 9:10. And, if it started at 9:10, there’s an even larger chance that you were late.

Given this scenario, you have likely burst open the door to a room with a wide abyss and a lecturing professor at the front, and a sea of students packed so tightly together in those damn crowded desks that you cannot see the chairs they sit on. You stand, paralyzed, in front of the door as you scan the room for an open, accessible desk.

Cued by the exasperated sigh of a professor, a real-life game of Rush Hour begins; given the limited area provided by the Milbank desk, chairs must be shifted to create an aisle where there isn’t one, so you can get to the seat in the third row in the middle that was just too far for anybody else to navigate this labyrinth for. Though only a third of the desks are filled, all students are seated in the first three rows, such that you have to leap over backpacks, juke around grande coffees and lift your backpack over your head to avoid other people’s heads. Once you reached your seat, you placed your backpack on top of the radiator (because why would there be room on the floor?) and contort your body such that you aren’t sitting in your neighbor’s desk.

Now you are finally settled in your chair. As you sit through class, you observe the scrawlings on your desk as a means of entertainment, but stop when the only thing that reminds you that you are not in high school is the inscription ΣΝ. And when your mind returns to college, you become aware of the sound in your left ear. It is a pigeon, that is seated under the radiator next to your desk that has the pleasing effect of amplifying the pigeon’s cooing directly into your ear. Quickly the cooing becomes rhythmic, and blends into your professor’s voice. As you struggle to fit your normal-sized notebook on the abnormally-tiny surface of your desk, you give up trying to take notes. Before you know it the entire room rises from their chairs—some more gracefully than others—and begins to shuffle around to find the most direct path to the door. You remain seated—you won’t be out for another ten minutes.

Milbank desk chairs: 3.5/10 for the chair, 4/10 for my new friend, the pigeon.

It takes boldness to be a Barnard woman. It takes fearlessness. It takes an unlimited data plan, and still having a Blackberry. Only the bold get coffee. Only the bold get knowledge.

Barnard women: if you can’t read the text below, text your boldest moment to 330c5890 or 330c5af by Thursday at 5 pm to win fame, fortune, and a $10 gift card to either Starbucks or Barnes and Noble: only the boldest of destinations.

I like my coffee like I like my women...bold

Your bold and beautiful Barnard leaders

Bwog’s correspondent Renée Kraiem reports on the first SGA meeting of the semester.

The Rep Council reunited last night at 8:10 to discover that a significant proportion of the group had either grown or cut their bangs. Then, the group got down to business.

Turns out that SGA is redecorating—and I’m not talking about the bangs. Be sure to stop by Rep Council’s new office hours starting next week to speak with your bold and even more beautiful Barnard leaders.

If you just can’t take your eyes off the new office, spend more time there! SGA is now accepting applications for positions on twelve committees, which are available here. Most applications are due on Friday, January 27th at 8 pm with the exception of one. Read more…

Finals approach, and the fun continues. Sometimes Times New Roman just isn’t enough:

Spotted in Barnard

Barnard Dean Avis Hinkson has released the following email to Barnard students commenting on last week’s Occupy CU congregation at Barnard. She writes that, “Barnard Public Safety did not lock down the campus or attempt to prevent the assembly from taking place.” This contradicts claims made by Occupy CU that a “lockdown” took place at Barnard Hall. A-Hinks’ full message below:

Dear members of the Barnard Community,

Last week, an Occupy Columbia University general assembly took place on Barnard’s campus. Contrary to some reports in the campus media, Barnard Public Safety did not lock down the campus or attempt to prevent the assembly from taking place.

For all anticipated gatherings where the number of participants is high, unknown, and/or may involve a significant number of non-members of the Barnard and Columbia community, Public Safety must take certain basic precautions, preparing for any and all who may choose to attend. Had the group contacted Barnard’s Events Management office to register the event and provide details about the anticipated participants, the College gladly would have worked with them to provide an adequate space.

When Occupy Columbia arrived on campus last Tuesday evening, Director of Public Safety Dianna Pennetti tried to identify the group’s leaders and accommodate their needs. They were not prevented from gathering on the steps of Barnard Hall but rather chose to move indoors to the lower level of the Diana Center due to the rain. Director Pennetti asked only that they not block access to walkways or entrances.
Read the rest of the email after the jump.

Ever wonder the critical reasoning process of certain Barnard students? Fret no more! Bwog’s resident cartoonist Julia Stern can take you on her comic tour of a stream of consciousness fueled by gender equality, sex seminars, and Margaret Mead. In Julia’s “Grin and Bear It” cartoon series— based on the MyLifeIsBarnard Twitter feed, watch how a pair of leftover panties can inspire philosophical crisis.

What would Margaret Mead say?

What do you get when The Beatles and a very well-stocked deli collide? At Barnard, you get a 712-foot [yellow] submarine sandwich! McAC’s annual Big Sub Extravaganza is tonight at 7pm on the Barnard lawns. Come bite off a piece of tradition as you sing along to this year’s theme: The Yellow SUBmarine. And be sure to get there early, because .135 miles of sandwich is no match for a horde of hungry college students, and it always goes fast. Let us know how it tasted in the comments!

The sub has been prepared, and is already waiting/hopefully not getting too mushy on the lawns:

Feeling left out via Wikimedia Commons

Starting at noon today on Lehman Walk, students will protest the recent changes to the Barnard tuition policy. Organizers ask that attendees and those who wish to show their solidarity wear the color red and change their facebook profile pictures to the Stand Up Barnard graphic (available on the facebook event page). 300 people say they’re attending, so keep an eye out for a sizable assembly come lunchtime.

Dean Hinkson visited SGA on Monday to talk about the changes, but did not address the critical date of the new policy’s implementation. Read and sign the protesters’ official petition, which currently boasts nearly 600 names, here.

The Pamphlet:

Discussion of debt ensued

Tuition drama? Talk of co-sponsorships? Debt? Peter Sterne held his own at Monday night’s action-packed SGA meeting; here’s the rundown.

• A-Hinks stopped by to answer questions about Barnard’s new full-time enrollment policy. She stressed that Barnard has always expected students to enroll as full-time students for all eight semesters, though they have granted exceptions in the past. Going forward, students will need a compelling reason (e.g. a medical condition) to get an exception. The rationale for the change is largely financial: Barnard students pay about $10,000 less in tuition if they go part-time for a semester. The consensus of the SGA reps and A-Hinks was that 20–50 students (out of a class of 600) go part-time each semester, meaning Barnard is losing out on $400,000 to $1,000,000 of tuition revenue each year. Students can still opt to graduate a semester or year early to avoid paying a full four years of tuition. This doesn’t deprive the college of tuition revenue, said A-Hinks, because Barnard can always admit a new student to take that student’s place.
• After Dean Hinkson spoke, she faced a multitude of questions from SGA Reps and concerned Barnard students. Most focused on the implementation of the policy, rather than the change itself. Why, many students asked, was the policy being applied to juniors who had already planned their academic careers assuming they would be able to take go part-time for their last semester, in addition to underclassmen? A-Hinks only answered that the policy change had to be implemented in a timely manner, which one might reasonably conclude means that Barnard really needs the full-time tuition revenue as soon as possible. 
• Hinkson also insisted that the change should not have a major effect on students, since they could always graduate early or change their class schedule. One junior explained to A-Hinks that her major, History, required a two-semester thesis seminar, but she could not afford to enroll full-time for both semesters of senior year. As a result, she’d have to change her major. A-Hinks offered no response, though SGA President Jessica Blank volunteered that Political Science is a great major that only requires a one-semester thesis seminar.
• In general, the Dean seemed willing to listen to suggestions on how to amend or modify the policy, but had nothing to say to those who simply opposed it. Only seven students had even emailed her about the change, she told SGA, though over 500 people have signed a petition, which she has not yet read, opposing the new policy.
• SGA considered whether to fund joint co-sponsorships with the other councils (CCSC, ESC, and GSSC) for various clubs. Far and away the biggest ask came from Bacchanal, for a co-sponsorship of $18,000 (from all councils) due to costs associated with moving the location of the Spring concert. Like CCSC, and ESC, SGA voted to table the issue, until they have more time to discuss the myriad of issues surrounding Bacchanal (which was already allocated $88,000 for the year).

Mo money mo problems

Think your life is Barnard? Well, there’s no knowing for sure until you cross reference it against the itemized guide below, inspired by the Twitter account and brought to life by Cartoon Architect and Sensational Satirist Julia Stern:

The REAL eight ways of knowing.

No more slices: now if you want some Barnard education, you have to buy the whole thing.

Some Barnard students are reacting with frustration and confusion to an email sent out by Dean Hinkson this morning. The message briefly outlines Barnard’s new tuition policy, which mandates that all students pay full-time fees, beginning fall next year.

Traditionally, BC students taking less than 12 credits were able to pay tuition on a per-credit basis, in much the same way that GS students do. A-Hinks stresses that “it has been a practice, though not a policy, for students who opted to take less than 12 credits in their final semester to pay part-time fees for that semester,” but there were also students who have part or full-time jobs and internships that would be disadvantaged by the new system, as would those who have full-time professional careers, such as dancers (Barnard is renowned for its dance program and its enrollment of highly successful professional dancers).

Dean Hinkson argues that the current practice does not make optimal use of Barnard’s resources. “We are making this change in order to be financially responsible and, most importantly, to continue to be able to provide you with the best possible education.”

Juniors who were intending on only paying part-time fees their senior year may now need to adjust their plan of study to take on more courses to avoid the fee hikes next year, a difficult adjustment to make so late in the semester. An online petition, aiming for 5000 signatures opposing the changes, has already been set up. Those critical of the new policy argue that other forms of fundraising that do not burden students should be considered.

Read Dean Hinkson’s email in full

We have a new concept space on campus, hot on the heels of the Zen Garden. A recent email from DSpar on Barnard’s renovations included the following message:

“Thanks to the faculty and students in the Architecture Department, Altschul Atrium is newly reconfigured as The Hive. It’s an innovative space divided into lounge, meeting, and gallery areas with modular furniture that can be arranged in a multitude of ways.”

This has literally been realized in a series of bee-related installations, and was officially opened on Tuesday. Behold:

If you saw free L’Oreal blush-bronzer combos being handed out today in the Diana, it was in preparation for this evening’s extravaganza:

From the Barnard events page

Update: The speakers included Meghan McCain and Taraji P. Henson. Bwog has obtained a picture of the gift bag. You may ogle the beauty products below.

Everything you need for a successful semester!