One would think that oscar-winning documentarian Ric Burns, C 78, had satisfied his propagandistic and masturbatory urges with his documentary for CU 250 festivities, Columbia: A Celebration. Not so! He’s back for more, producing what’s being pitched as a “reality-like” film, about his Alma Mater. And it’s going to be narrated by Brian Dennehy! Yay! But not in a clown costume! Boo.

On Friday, a film crew will be shooting at the men’s basketball game v. Brown university. They’ll be conducting interviews with students, and Columbia admins have been sending out crazed e-mails to get ultra positive people to show up and spout platitudes about “your unbelievably POSITIVE Columbia experiences, your nostalgic times in Morningside Heights… We’ll get you on camera and if you are energetic, have good junk to say, and most importantly, you look good, you get your 5 seconds of fame and film credit.”

After the jump, the complete e-mail:

“I apologize in advance for the short notice, but on Friday, February 24, a film crew will be on campus to conduct shooting of a new “reality-like” film about Columbia. We will be doing the first shoot this Friday at the Men’s Basketball Game v. Brown University. Before and throughout the game, we will be conducting “on the fly interviews” with select Columbia students. The filming and interviews will be part of an upcoming film, entitled “Columbia,” which will be a film narrated by Brian Dennehy and produced by Oscar-winning documentarian, Ric Burns (who is also responsible for award-winning documentaries on the Civil War, the World Trade Center, New York City and an upcoming PBS special on Andy Warhol).

I will be at the Brown game with the film crew and I am sending this e-mail to you because I know you and think you’d be a good representative for Columbia because either A.) you are incredibly good looking B.) you are incredibly intelligent and articulate or C.) BOTH!

If you would like to be interviewed for the film (about your unbelievably POSITIVE Columbia experiences, your nostalgic times in Morningside Heights, and the unrivaled opportunities you have taken advantage of in New York City), come to Friday night’s game swingin’ solo or with all your rowdy friends and look for me and the camera crew. We’ll get you on camera and if you are energetic, have good junk to say, and most importantly, you look good, you get your 5 seconds of fame and film credit.”

—Thanks to Rebecca Kelly