May

8

The Cult of Hamilton, and other finals ephemera

Written by

chairsLast night, tipster Ryan Withall recommended checking out 317 Hamilton, where, he wrote, students had gone a bit crazy on the blackboard during what must have been an intense study session.

Curious, Bwog took a break from work and headed over, to find a creepy crop circle of chairs, arranged in the shape of a heart. On the board, someone had scrawled some puzzling aphorisms:

“Taste love right now because
10forever eats at the Olive Garden”

“Bravery thinks for no one, love the face you share with friends”

“Treat yourself, you never know when the ones you love will move to the center of the solar system”

“The Bouncing Baby drowns my sorrow”

“Safety approaches those who full heartedly bathe in sweet cookie batter, for thine is the Sophomoric help”

Also, Bwog heard that some charitable sophomores were wandering through Butler several hours ago, getting rid of their stash of 500 condoms by strewing them across desks ringed by toiling students, as if to say, study break! 

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7 Comments

  1. hmm  

    "Bwog heard that some charitable sophomores were wandering through Butler several hours ago, getting rid of their stash of 500 condoms by strewing them across desks ringed by toiling students, as if to say, study break!"

    So that's why they were doing it...

    But...they don't anticipate having any sex during those three summer months?

  2. they did  

    say "for your study break" when tossing them onto the table. what mockery.

  3. fuckers  

    those fucking condom hoarders! more than once this year I had to wander all over my damn building to find an RA whose condom stash hadn't been stolen by a bunch of selfish pricks (literally). let this be a lesson to all of you: don't stack up on 500 condoms. Not cool. Some people actually use them, you know.

  4. Anna  

    Maybe this was the same room that was eminating weed the other day. Way to stink the place up, dudes.

  5. question  

    mnemonic devices = cheating, no?

  6. too bad most of them  

    were thrown away. what a waste.

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