The residents of a Columbia dorm floor received these bizarre emails from their RA (specifics redacted) on Thursday morning. Here they are, very sic, copy-and-pasted.

“Date: Sep 13, 2007 3:27 AM

Subject: Incident Tonight

Hi Everyone!

As some of you might have heard, an incident occured around 1:40am

this morning.  There were screams, loud noises, Public Safety came,

the GA/AD came, and NYPD came.  There has been allegations of physical

assalt, maybe even rape.

Whether that is true or not, I just want to let all of you know that

the issue is being dealt with right now on all levels of the Columbia

adminstration. I know that to some of you, that might not sound so

convincing/pleasing…but have faith in the system.  They will get to

the bottem of this.

If any of you have any unresolved feelings or just want to talk about

the incident please feel free to email me back to either talk with me

or I can direct you to the GA/AD/others who can help and may have more

answers.

Thanks,

[Redacted]”

“Date: Sep 13, 2007 11:21 PM

Subject: Please read! Clarification to the Incident Last Night

Hi everyone!

Aftering haven spoken to people, including the AD and the people

involved, and gotten all the FACTS straight, I would like to clarify

some of the information contained is last night’s email about the

incident that occured.

Although the wording might have it seem otherwise, the SOLE INTENT of

last night’s email was to dispel any FASLE allegations and rumors.

The incident last night was the result of a series of accidental

events that unfolded in such a way to appear more than it really was.

        I am sorry if in my email I caused people UNNECESSARY and

UNFOUNDED alarm and/or fear.

The people involved in the incident want to apologize for all the

inconvenience they may have caused.

If anyone has any concerns or need further clarification, please don’t

hestiate to either email me back or knock on my room […].

Thanks,

[…]”