This headline: “Go Ape For The New Version of the Old Mighty Beast”
ESC’s claim that since America elected George Bush, democracy is bad.
A good urban exploration column ruined by the claim that there are “tar pits” in Queens. And by its eighth paragraph.
Oprah branching out into reality TV.
A first-year’s need to let you know, in 900 words, that she takes 18 credits! And is in a club! Stuff is hard, guys.
33 Comments
@... this, my friends, is why adderall needs to be banned.
@anonymous It was clearly not satire. …Goes to show you the kind of output that some over-extended, resume-stuffing individuals sometimes produce.
@either way if it wasn’t satire, what a piece of shit article, if it was, what a piece of shit satire
@wtf Dickheads, it’s clearly satirical.
NOBODY in their right mind would write an article like that. It’s obviously self-alienating. I can’t imagine Hudes having any intention of being serious in this particular piece. Just get the fuck over it, you pathetic, humorless lot.
@alexw “Haha! No, really guys, it was a joke! Haha, right? You guys all believe me right, guys? Surely nobody would be that pathetic. Haha, oh good times…”
@agreed shitty column guys, but seriously let it go. not that big of a deal – besides, I’m sure that this girl (being a “2”-er) is beating herself up more than sufficiently
@yesss I read the first-year article when there were no comments on bwog yet. I kept checking back to see the reactions. Love you, bwog commenters.
@this girl is such a loser. she’s going to remain one all 4 years i’m sure.
what a SHIT article. Good job lameo
@wow And she has plenty of time to make 36 facebook picture albums. Maybe that shit was satire. I only pray it was.
@Surprise Almost every freshman column has been terrible this year. I say almost because: 1) I haven’t read every freshman column (and I haven’t clawed out my eyes yet cause of that), 2) There are some decent pieces written by freshmen, just not as freshman columns (and that’s probably why).
Yes, we know it’s a bad idea by the Spec to keep beating this stillborn horse. Yes, we know that the decision to actually write a column must have happened while the writer was not in their right mind. So what’s the point of subjecting them to a Colosseum fight filled with a bunch of bitter, rabid, snarky, anonymous beasts every single time? Lay off the poor girl, she and the rest of the freshman column writers have learned their lesson and hopefully will become better writers cause of it – realizing how silly they sound when they read it in paper, not cause of the brutal, senseless comments found on Bwog.
To a better try next time, Miss Hudes.
@amh i’m just a lowly first year. it was meant to be funny. sorry it didn’t come across that way.
oh, and i welcome all submissions of weed.
@King Kong is awesome, as is the headline written at 1am last night.
@she's not saying it like makes her cool or great
chilll yooo
@it was definitely satire.
@please tell me that column was satire….
@Unfortunately, I think not. I love the part where she says that she’s not complaining. She’s right: she’s bragging.
I don’t know who I am more disappointed in – the Spec for publishing that shit or myself for reading the whole thing.
@alexw Why are there so many Specator opinion columnists who just don’t have any opinions? If you want to write nonsense about your personal life observations, do it in your shitty blog.
@Tobias Funke Douche chiilllll1!
@or she could just suck a fat one. preferably mine.
the problem with this girl isn’t her, it’s the army of goobs like her. she probably correctly thought she was writing a successful column, since at least a quarter of this campus IS her.
@Proudhon Shoshana Schwartz is way smarter.
@dumb dumb dumb dumb
@i'm definitely a number 1, and I live with a number 2. It’s great. She came in having bought me head and shoulders shampoo.
@noo I’m sure all groups she mentioned will ignore her now. She ran out of material for her column and bs is the first back-up plan (with plagarism as the second…)
@yo chill Pretty sure the tone was facetious. I don’t think it was supposed to be interpreted so seriously.
So really, maybe it’s YOU guys who are stuck-up and didn’t give her the benefit of the doubt, considering you guys are so chill.
@ugh “As long as I’m at Columbia—OK, as long as I live—I will overbook myself and get stressed to a point that will scare people.”
…until one day i have a nervous breakdown after recognizing my multiple stimulant-drug addictions, lack of friends, and loss of my identity.
@Type 2.5 She does sound pretty insecure. Never stop running around like a headless chicken, so you never have to confront your own self. Always keeping busy with (in the end) meaningless activities. It’s sad.
@!!! her notion that she could be a fun partier first semester and then suddenly morph into a “doer” is dumb. people like her are never “chill/fun” they are anxious, stuck up freaks. this girl needs to take a few xanax and smoke pot once in a while. glad i dont associate with anyone like that whore.
@wow! and she learned to type while staring in the mirror! amazing!
@That made me sick.
@Ugh That freshman column was the biggest pile of steaming self-congratulatory bullshit I have ever read in my life.
And that’s coming from a senior who would probably be characterized as a “group two-er,” as this girl puts it.
Notice how it’s always the people who do all this stuff quietly for four years, don’t brag about it, and then end up coming out of it with a Rhodes or a Marshall–they are the ones I truly admire, and there should be a “group three” for them.
@Amen to that.
@i agree 100%. i’d like to give her some weed, a case of pbr, and the electric kool-aid acid test.