May

3

Senior Wisdom: Jason Bello

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It’s time for another installment of Senior Wisdom as we check in with Rhodes Scholar and PBKer Jason Bello.

Name, School:

Jason Bello, CC 08 

Claim to fame:

Almost burning down Hartley (several times) and getting my own CTV cooking show out of it (“The Careless Cook”).  

Post-grad plans:

I am leaving the US during the most exciting election in decades to study political science (thank goodness for comparative politics).  

Preferred swim test stroke?

Synchronized swimming with Rahul Jain and Felipe Tarud. 

What are three things you learned at Columbia?

  1. If you’re hosting a dinner gathering, a surefire way to get everybody to know each other is to come late to your own party :)
  2. People who are balder than their opponents get on average between 3% and 6% less votes in open gubernatorial elections (original research from W4911).
  3. It’s okay to have a messy room (replies my suitemate: “that is what you think, not what you learned”).

Justify your existence in 30 words or less.

      3 pounds lamb

      2 tablespoons oil

      Onion

      Celery stalk

      Carrot

      4 garlic cloves

      4 oz tomato-paste

      1/2 cup each: white wine, mushrooms

      Can crushed tomatoes

      Red pepper flakes

      Salt/Pepper 

What was your favorite controversy in your time at Columbia?

Oh man, I have to pick one? I’d go with the time Ann Coulter tried to bust the S&M club meeting in Hamilton.  

What Columbia memory best exemplifies your college experience?

Me: [makes a Bush joke expecting everybody in New York to dislike Bush]

Girl: I’m a Republican.

Me: Oh, you see, I’m politically moderate, I love Republicans, just not the super-extremist kind, you know, like the ones who love George Bush.

Girl: I hate George Bush.

Me: See what I told you.

Girl: He’s too liberal. 

Which prof do you think would be the best kisser?

Wow, I don’t think I’m going to even venture a guess here… He or she is definitely not in my beloved Political Science or Economics departments. If I were looking, I’d probably go to Anthro.  

What percentage of seniors do you think are virgins?

So I took a look at the guesses from last year’s responses, and the comments showed some dissatisfaction with the random speculation. I figured I could put my Poli-Sci Econ education to work by guessing the sexual histories of my first 100 friends (in alphabetical order) on Facebook. From that, my estimation of the 95% confidence interval for the percent of virgins (among my friends at least) is between 13% and 29%.  

Would you rather permanently give up oral sex or cheese?

You’re asking the Careless Cook? Oral sex, duh. 

Days on Campus memory?

I was on waitlist and I hadn’t heard yet, so I was back home in Massachusetts behaving like any other second semester senior. 

Regrets?

Not to get all sappy, but none. It’s easy to take it for granted (and I almost forgot to mention it) but this is a pretty cool place with a lot of really awesome people.

Tags:

37 Comments

  1. Oral Sex  

    More lies, why am I not getting any credit? Surely cheese cannot be THAT intoxicating

  2. finally

    someone not just looking to promote themselves. props on some humility my man

  3. huh?  

    columbia's got issues. i know a lot of smart people who were initially waitlisted

  4. populist  

    where are the seniors who aren't student leaders, valedictorians, etc, but still awesome?

  5. aww

    never met him while i was at columbia, but he seems like a sweet, sincere (and obviously very intelligent) person.

  6. Yep.  

    Of the seniors who have given of their wisdom so far, this guy is absolutely the most lovable.

  7. concerned student...

    Jason Bello is covered in semen

  8. Stat major  

    Props on the correctly calculated confidence interval!

    21% of your facebook friends are virgins though? Sad.

  9. haha  

    i like him.

    and it shows how fucked up columbia admissions is when a Rhodes Scholar and PBKer was WAITLISTED here.

    • Anonymous  

      Lamb Ragu, naturally. If it's the justification for Jason's existence, it's the reason for mine. I would do unspeakable and unforgivable things for (with?) that dish.

  10. 1231231232  

    1. If you're hosting a dinner gathering, a surefire way to get everybody to know each other is to come late to your own party :)

    This is correct.

  11. EAL  

    Now we know the real secret to becoming a Rhodes Scholar: you have to try to burn a building down.

  12. Hmm

    I disagree with all the people who say Columbia admissions is fucked up because Jason Bello was waitlisted. Granted he is obviously smart and hard-working, but he also hadn't earned either of those designations yet.

    So the fact that he was waitlisted, ended up getting in, and is now a Phi Beta Kappa Rhodes scholar is less proof that Columbia admissions could use some overhauling and more just a nice, happy, coincidental anecdote to tell other students who are waitlisted in the future. "Look, you feel like a worthless failure now, but I know this kid who was originally waitlisted at an Ivy League school and ended up getting PBK and winning the Rhodes!"

  13. cute!  

    Bwog,
    why did these guys not have personals?
    also, have you ever had follow ups one personals? how may replies, if couples have formed etc... i'm kinda curious.

  14. Lies  

    Jason would not keep his cheese. Just ask him about last night.

  15. He seems  

    really nice. Love the senior wisdoms, bwog. (Both the concept and most of the actual things.)

  16. he is  

    one of my favorite people at columbia.

  17. hold up

    I love Jason's interview, but he's the sixth or seventh guy in a row to be interviewed! Is the CU community out of cool women to interview?

  18. i approve  

    this is exactly how you write a senior wisdom that isn't douche-y, to those who were wondering. nicely done, jason. bwog, let's hear from some of the ridiculously funny members of 08. chas carey or andrew martin would be awesome.

  19. Anonymous  

    Well done, puddle pants!

  20. secret admirer

    I hear he's huuuge

  21. love him  

    I LOVE JASON BELLO. He is so accomplished and still so down to earth!! I can't believe he was waitlisted either.

  22. cheesehead  

    Basically, I cannot respect anyone who gives up cheese for oral sex. The wonderful flavors of cheese versus the nasty taste of someone's privates? No contest! And I admit I'm a prude and have never tried fellatio, but I still stand by my cheese because I am an anonymous poster, and no one can hold me accountable for this unsubstantiated argument.

    Anyway, now that's off my chest, payce!

  23. ...  

    i'd say its more like an elephant trunk. Srsly tho, i've never seen anything quite like it.

  24. i dont know him  

    but he seems great!!

  25. balding?  

    major hairline recession

    • valiant knight  

      actually, that's not true, and really petty. but jason's awesome enough that even in the case that he were, he would get way more votes in an election than a fuller-haired opponent.

  26. 2008  

    Janusz Kesek (SEAS 2008) PLEASE!!! He lost part of his finger!!

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