David Letterman reveals his being victim of a $2 million extortion
attempt—after having been sexually involved with several female members of his
staff!  The number of entries in Letterman’s
Top 10 List of Extortion Attempts has just increased—to one entry!

Columbia climate experts have let Global Warming off the
hook, attributing the recent Southeast drought to “population growth more than
rainfall patterns”!  What will become of
our swankily green Westside Market  tote bags!?

Speaking of Columbia, its campus may or may not be getting
safer—from fire!  And alcohol!

Forty-nine participants in “traditional organized crime” are
indicted!  Will The Sopranos have another season?

The H1N1 nasal vaccine is coming to New York next week!!!!!!!!!

And college admissions websites love what their students have to say—in uncensored blogs!  What does that even mean!?