Mar

30

Sarcasm Is Losers Trying to Bring Winners Down to Their Level

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Photo credit: Fred Dufour/AFP/Getty Images

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to win the lottery? Bwog’s most stoic of Housing Correspondents, David Hu, brings you the gloats and surprisingly humble (for some) reactions of the recipients of this year’s best housing lottery numbers.

Bwog: What’s it like all the way at the top? Have people been congratulating you?

Winner 1: Yes, people have been congratulating me, but on the whole, people tend to be more jealous. They get this sad look like fate dealt them an unfair hand.

Winner 2: People usually say its lonely at the top, but i’ve had ladies all over me so far.

Winner 3: I’m honestly stunned, and grateful for this blessing. I posted the news on facebook, and people have been congratulatory there. I know that getting a high number is just as likely as getting a low number, and I’ve done absolutely nothing to deserve this. But it is still exciting to be given this opportunity to get the housing we wanted.

Bw: Would you generally consider yourself a lucky person?

W1: I am definitely a lucky person. I think that if you generally have a positive outlook on life that you will reap positive benefits. And even if something negative happens to you, if you have a positive outlook, you can put a positive spin on anything negative.

W2: Have you seen you seen what I look like?

W3: I would say that I have been blessed before. I mean, I’m here at Columbia, aren’t I? I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, a very supportive group of family and friends, and a natural aptitude for my chosen field (medicine). All of these are things outside of my control to a large extent, and the circumstances could have been very different. I just try to focus on the things I can control and work from there.

EC Townhouses and more after the jump!

Bw: What is your top housing pick?

W1: EC, I’m in a suite. Something with a view? Haha!

W2: EC Townhouse… ya’ll better keep ya girlfriends locked up next year.

W3: My suitemates and I went in looking for an EC exclusion suite.

Bw: At this point, do you think you’ll get it?

W1: I’m pretty sure my group will get EC (knock on wood), but that view might have to wait until next year.

W2: That’s what she said

W3: Our point combination is 26.666 (two seniors, one junior counted), so I think we are pretty much guaranteed an EC exclusion suite, unless the world ends or someone reveals that this was just a massive April Fool’s joke (which frankly, I find more probable than actually getting a number as high as we did).

Bw: Is there anything special about your group or situation? (teammates, club, potential for a single all four years, etc.)

W1: Meh… nothing really special. It’s 5 guys (unfortunately). I typically prefer coed housing, but with luck, some of my other friends will be in the building some where else.

W2: We’re hot, we’re fast, and we like to party.

W3: There isn’t anything that particular about our suite except that a majority of us are active members of the Catholic group on campus

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15 Comments

  1. The Most Interesting Man In the World  

    Winner number 2's rugged manliness just impregnated half of the Upper West Side.

  2. W2-Under "...consider..."

    You see x2.

  3. Anonymous  

    Ironically, Winner 2 is made of fail.

  4. Anonymous  

    Winner 3 is just irritating.

    You may have won the housing lottery, but we don't need to hear you wax poetic about your \natural aptitude\ in your chosen field.

  5. fuckers  

    stay the hell away from my EC townhouse.

  6. get real broseph  

    W2: thinks his cocky/funny schtick is actually funny

  7. face in the photo  

    is the same one I make when ejaculating. <-- something I do 8 times a day.

  8. Spectrum Slammer  

    BWOG RULES and SPECRTUM BLOWS

  9. tassssste it!!!!!  

    One of the best lottery numbers and a senior is still going to be in a double in the EC exclusion suite...

  10. where are they?  

    Someone took my sunflower seeds, i need them to plant in the pot i am going to put on the windowsill of my townhouse.

  11. these can't be the top 3  

    4, 5, and 8 were the top numbers. 5 and 8 went to freshmen and 4 went to a mixed group (5 sophomores and a freshman). And the top three senior groups were 2 girls in general selection a the crew group of 6.


    This is fabricated and not even funny, bwog. If you're gonna write fiction, do it well at least.

  12. meooooowwww  

    maybe im traditional but isnt 1 the best number? where did that go

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