Things to Avoid: Party Fouls

It’s time for midterms, Columbia, and if you haven’t already, pretty soon you will need to study. And if you will need to study, obviously, you will need to procrastinate. And if you need to procrastinate, who better to ask than a bro? This is Bwog’s official guide to online brocrastination:

BroBible: Every bro has a story

• Sample Headline: The 50 Hottest Colombian Women
• Sample Content: “At some point in his life, every man dreams of owning a beautiful, expensive sports car. They’re fast, flashy, and drop panties like its their job.”

Bros Like This Site: Bros like all this shit

• Sample Headline: #89 Hating Hipsters
• Sample Content: “Much like girls in America go down on pretty much anything with a European accent, you better believe that shit works the other way around when bros go abroad. If you can get past the whole armpit hair bullshit, then you should be ready for a nice foreign pounding.”

On The Bro’d: Every Sentence Of Jack Kerouac’s On The Road, Retold For Bros.

• Sample Headline: 62 – Car Surfing And Shotgunning
• Sample Content: “How that RV flew through the Nebraska chode—the chode that sticks out over Colorado! And soon I realized I was for real over Colorado, though not for real in it, but looking southwest toward Denver itself a few hundred miles away. I got stoked as fuck. We shotgunned some Natties.”

Barstool U: By the C- Student for the C- Student

• Sample Headline: Dude Delays Flight 1.5 Hours Because He Refuses To Fly With Woman Pilot
• Sample Content: “Oh what’s that you say Guinness? You don’t have a world record for us to break? Well we’ll just make one the fuck up and break the shit out of it! World’s longest fish taco line bitch!”

MyLifeIsBro: Life is pretty chill today, bro.

• Sample Headline: There are none. Here are some gratuitous links.
• Sample Content: “Just drank a slushie in the shower. It was chill.”

suburban basement via Wikimedia Commons