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SPANX For Reading

Our very own Barnard went viral this week when a student got particularly expressive via a laundry room note to a strong, beautiful peer who stole a pair of SPANX. For those of you who are male or have naturally flat stomachs—note to the latter: we hate you—SPANX are spandex that one may wear underneath clothing to give the appearance of a smooth, firm stomach and/or butt. The following image is the original note (it’s pretty gross), which was later posted to Reddit and Jezebel:

Speaking of going viral, how 'bout those certain contagious skin diseases?

 

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25 Comments

  • that guy that gives random spankings says:

    @that guy that gives random spankings Whoever stole the Spanx need a naughty spanking! Hit me up gal!

    – The CC ‘ 12 creep who sometimes spanks girls in crowded spaces on campus and gets away with it.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Wow, that’s extremely creepy. Why don’t you take that to an S&M club, dude, rather than non-consenting Columbia girls.

  • anon says:

    @anon is it zoe? sounds like her

  • jb says:

    @jb Nope, I know the author, and her spanks were stolen. She was really pissed. She’s also extremely creative. Love. Her.

  • WHOEVER POSTED THIS SHIT says:

    @WHOEVER POSTED THIS SHIT IS A MARKETING GENIUS. IF YOU’RE AN INTERN OR AN EMPLOYEE AT SPANX, YOU SHOULD GET A RAISE.

    THIS IS SERIOUSLY AN AMAZING PIECE OF ADVERTISING. SHE POSTED NOT ONE, BUT MANY AROUND THE DORMS AND THESE ARE WELL TYPED USING AN ELEGANT FONT.

    SUSPICIOUS YET?

    GENIUS MARKETING.

    1. i mean.. says:

      @i mean.. call me living under a rock but i never really heard of spanx or at least, not this much talk about spanx until this!

      and the whole thing going viral on the internet and reddit?

      THIS IS CLEARLY AN ADVERTISING GIMMICK BY SPANX.

      NICE. VERY NICE..

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON CAN BE DISABLED BY PRESSING THE LEFTMOST AND CENTER BUTTON ON A QWERTY KEYBOARD

        1. CAPS LOCK SHOULD BE TURNED OFF says:

          @CAPS LOCK SHOULD BE TURNED OFF …UNLESS I HAPPEN TO HAVE A MINDBLOWING, EYE-OPENING, MIND-OPENING COMMENT TO MAKE THAT MAKE YOU GO “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”

          AS IN THIS SITUATION. NOBODY’S SPANX WAS STOLEN. THIS WAS A VIRAL GUERELLA MARKETING TACTIC.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous This wasn’t just posted in the laundry room, it was in every elevator and on every floor…

  • FBI says:

    @FBI Trust me this is all in the procedure. I’m going to need to see a photo of the flier author’s vagina as well as a photo of every vagina who had access to the building…

    1. Alasondro Alegré as Chief says:

      @Alasondro Alegré as Chief –aaaaand I’m going to need urine samples from the same individuals.

  • "-note to the later: we hate you-" says:

    @"-note to the later: we hate you-" whoa bwog, way to successfully execute a colon within a long-dash section

  • hehe says:

    @hehe i love this

  • a CC guy says:

    @a CC guy is it bad that i got a boner while reading this rather descriptive and vivid post?

    sooooooooooooo hot. so hott.

  • BC says:

    @BC I was so proud when I saw this front paged on r/TwoXChromosomes.

    1. Bacon, Narwhals says:

      @Bacon, Narwhals Chka chka yeeaaaahhhhhh

  • anonymous says:

    @anonymous soooooo glad I don’t have a vagina.

  • hey says:

    @hey I’m pretty sure this was a joke…

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous But you can’t catch a skin disease if the spanx was washed in the laundry, right? i’m sure that girl who stole it made sure it was washed first before wearing it…

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous She probably doesn’t actually have a contagious skin disease, but is just trying to guilt the thief as much as possible…

    2. hmm.. says:

      @hmm.. you sound awful suspicious! did you steal those spanx???

  • girls says:

    @girls why are you so passive aggressive?

    1. Not passive-aggressive? says:

      @Not passive-aggressive? Is it really passive-aggressive if you don’t know who stole the spanx and can’t confront her?

    2. well says:

      @well this is kind of just openly aggressive, not so much passive

  • .... says:

    @.... Bitches, man.

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