Dec

10

Baby, it’s Egregiously Frigid Outside

Written by

You may have trouble making the trek from Hamilton to Butler without losing blood circulation, but the winter has its merits. Bwog strives to maintain its record of being jolly (even with purple fingers!). Including a few old faves, consider:

Garb:

  • Snoods
  • Gloves that your grandmother knit so you can use your smartphone
  • Sweaters with elbow patches
  • Sturdy boots
  • Tacky sweaters
  • Cashmere
  • Hoods
  • Scarves so thick it looks like you have a pillow around your neck
  • The layers that obscure all the weight you’ll gain over the holidays
  • Colors like burgundy, ocher, amber, and sienna (both “raw” and “burnt” varieties)
  • Babies in bulky snowsuits
Grub:
  • Tea
  • Hot chocolate
  • Mulled wine, Glögg
  • Spiked cider
  • Butternut squash soup
  • Anything in a thermos
  • Sweets
  • Holiday-themed food packaging
  • Cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger
  • The guilty pleasure sludge of a Starbucks peppermint mocha
  • Westside’s chicken noodle soup
  • Gingerbread
Gear:
  • Fuzzy blankets
  • Fuzzy dogs
  • Fuzzy dogs in fuzzy blankets
  • Fuzzy errythang
  • Fireplaces
Weather:
  • Red noses
  • Flushed faces
  • When walking two blocks feels like a harrowing Arctic trek
  • Wind whistling when you’re inside
  • Crisp winter air
  • Seeing your breath
  • How the blanket of freshly fallen snow makes everything in New York look clean
Activities:
  • Snow penises
  • Staying inside
  • Holiday TV specials
  • Seeing family
  • Frank Capra movies
  • A Charlie Brown Christmas Album
  • Finger-painting on the condensation on glass windows
  • Spontaneous hugging for warmth
Moments:
  • Building and then hotboxing an igloo—true story
  • Having an excuse to sit down and stay a while
  • Debating whether or not you can eat the snow
  • Bundled-up kids playing in the snow
  • Warm vestibules
  • The camaraderie of sliding your sniffly neighbor a pack of tissues
  • When Columbia becomes a snowy canvas
  • When heater noises are surprisingly musical
  • The de-thawing feeling in your extremities when you get back inside (when you’re both hot and cold)

 

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5 Comments

  1. thank you  

    this makes me so happy!

  2. Anonymous  

    nice title, bwog!

  3. Grammar Nazi  

    *Bwog strives to maintain ITS record

  4. This is what you get

    For that ridiculous "it's too warm to wear cute winter clothing" nonsense.

    Oh and when you mess with us.

  5. Anonymous  

    bwog's thematic lists make me happier than anything ever. Thank you for da smiles :)

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