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Meet the Super Sweet ’16ers

The early entrants to Columbia’s CC and SEAS class of 2016 have been announced. As some of you may remember from way back when (high school), getting into college is kind of a big deal. Maybe your parents took you out to a nice restaurant that night, or maybe you jumped around uncontrollably screaming incomprehensible words of joy. Thankfully, in this modern age of instant communication and digital socialization, all of the awkward intensity is on public display through Facebook and College Confidential. The best, most insane, creepiest, most offensive, and, perhaps, cutest posts will be collected and periodically posted for our enjoyment during these, the darkest of times.

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71 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous must…control…murderous…impulses…

    1. Alum says:

      @Alum When i first knew about my acceptance to CU, I didn’t get a fancy meal, or a gift or anything for that matter. My parents had this stupid expression on their faces, and they told me to keep up the good work, and nothing more.

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous i was naked when i found out, and i put on clothes so i could high-five my mom and get sushi with my brother. that was the last time my family was happy about me going to columbia.

      2. I says:

        @I Was in the St. Louis baggage claim while visiting Wash U.

        I should have stayed there.

  • Oh for fuck's sake says:

    @Oh for fuck's sake None of you Modern-Family watching sad sacks are going to be friends.

    You’ll friend each other prematurely, have awkward run-ins and pretend not to recognize each other when you do, growing more and more resentful of this aborted friendship until you respectively, and without reason, fall into each other’s “I don’t like that person” column.

    Every fucking year.

    1. and that's why says:

      @and that's why you bond over family guy and getting drunk

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous ….and then run into each other again six years after graduation in a coffee shop in istanbul and have a whirlwind romance where they laugh about the old awkward days at Columbia and eventually have a small non-traditional wedding on a fishing boat off the coast of Brazil.

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous OMG, you’re so funny! We must eventually become friends at Columbia!

        1. Anonymous says:

          @Anonymous this is why i choose bwog

  • CC '13 says:

    @CC '13 I think I finally became jaded, after years of trying to fight it. I never thought I would be, but the optimism of these kids is so sad to witness because I know that next year it will either be gone or that they’ll be on track to be just as jaded as everyone here.

    1. CC '13 says:

      @CC '13 oh but the WoW comment was amazing.

      Tichondrius ftw.

      1. I shit you not says:

        @I shit you not I just tried to upvote and missed and it won’t let me correct it

  • Wait a second... says:

    @Wait a second... Does Columbia now accept directly from middle school?

    -CC ’12

  • egoist prick says:

    @egoist prick “kind of a big deal” -> “a kind of big deal” ?

  • "barnard fwb" says:

    @"barnard fwb" verse 1 from an unreleased rap song:

    I make it rain uptown on the upper west side,
    I get my dick wet from chicks on “the other side”
    of the street.
    Welcome to Columbia, don’t look at me
    You get fucked in the ass daily like sodomy.

    Yeah! Cause I’m banging, banging a barnarrrrd broad.
    Yeah! Cause I’m banging, banging a barnarrrrd broad.
    We be sneaking up Butler and smoking that pot
    Yeah! Cause I’m banging, banging a barnarrrrd broad.

  • It makes sense says:

    @It makes sense that you call these comments offensive and then start spouting offensive stuff yourself.

    but i guess it’s because you go to “the college.”

  • people, says:

    @people, please be quiet about all this “the College” nonsense. Check out a BC email – they say “the College” too. Dean Hinkus Pinkus says it more than anyone else. Don’t get your feminist panties in a wad.

  • seriously? we're not over this shit yet? says:

    @seriously? we're not over this shit yet? everyone, grow up. i was under the impression we as columbia students are supposed to be somewhat intelligent and at least slightly evolved. and yet there are still people crapping all over barnard? WHO GIVES A SHIT.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous i now realize the potential poop jokes that could come of this comment.

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous I, for one, give many a shit.

    3. wait so says:

      @wait so you’re at barnard but you have time to read bwog? obviously they don’t give you enough to do

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous actually i’m not barnard. and let’s not forget, you’re on here too, asshole.

        1. same guy says:

          @same guy yes, but it’s because i’m avoiding the work i have to do. i have plenty of it to put off. that’s why this is an IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL

          1. Anonymous says:

            @Anonymous YOUR POOR LIFE

    4. Good, good... says:

      @Good, good... let the butthurt flow through you.

  • '12 says:

    @'12 to answer the kid in the top left corner- the most underrated tradition at Columbia is taking jaded shits all over the incoming freshman… i live for this.

    1. hands down says:

      @hands down one of my favorite (and truest) bwog comments i’ve read in a while.

  • CC12 says:

    @CC12 dear bwog,

    just FYI, cynicism does not equal cleverness. yeah columbia isn’t perfect, but it’s pretty damn near impossible to go through 4 years here without some great memories. so…don’t you have better things to do than hate on pre-frosh enthusiasm?

    yours truly,
    CC 12, remembering the days when bwog used to be good…

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous uhh. I think you’re trying too hard.

      “these are people who would give their left nut to be in the exact position we are right now. be grateful?”

    2. Oh gawd, LOL says:

      @Oh gawd, LOL Please fuck off

    3. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous oh please, its part of the columbia cycle- overly enthusiastic pre-frosh, Freshman year: naive, fun. ” I love lit hum! I love beer!” Sophomore year: torn between blindly loving columbia but also feeling an impending sense of cynicism. Junior Year: the peak of jadedness Senior year: the strange blend of jadedness with a fuzzy sense of nostalgia…

      hating on incoming pre-frosh fits into every one of those categories- freshman year its – hooray! communal hating! Sophomore year its, oo prefrosh… i remember those days…so fun! but wow those kids are annoying. Junior year : hey newbs… FUCK OFF…. and senior year…. one last go around of hate although honestly don’t give a shit..but secretly excited for the kiddos…

      1. I agree says:

        @I agree but jadedness really hits hard sophomore year imho. The sophomore slump if you will.

        1st semester: drunk (good)
        2nd semester: high (great)
        3rd semester: still high. o fuck now I have to work (troubling)
        4th semester: ensconced in my room with a box of coco mix and public television reruns (slumping)
        5th semester: “fuzzy” (fuzzy)

        1. CC 14 says:

          @CC 14 I am slumping so hard right now. Somewhere between the 3rd and 4th semester your soul just decides to take a vacation and all you’re left with is Netflix and mediocre grades.

  • have some heart! says:

    @have some heart! We all complain about how we’re jaded and cynical towards Columbia now, but it’s overriding moods like this that make us feel like that in the first place. If we can’t latch on to some of this openhearted enthusiasm and actually feel good about ourselves and where we attend college for even a minute, then… then you’ll make me lose hope too! Please don’t do this to me! Or to one another!

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous was hoping someone would have the balls to say this.

      i like school sometimes. and then i read bwog comments…

  • nwbar says:

    @nwbar “these are people who would give their left nut to be in the exact position we are right now. be grateful?”

    I don’t know whether to be more angry at the forced optimism or the masculonormity. Actually, it’s neither — I find this offensive as a survivor of testicular cancer. I did give my left nut to be here — on the Earth, that is.

    1. it took says:

      @it took a lot of balls to say that

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Getting my ass kicked by this university. Still in love with it.
    Don’t hate, guys.

  • Dear '16ers says:

    @Dear '16ers Words of advice:

    – If you sign up for the Columbia Outdoor Orientation Program, choose bikes.
    – Sign up for as many mailing lists as humanly possible during student activities day.
    – Realize that your advisor knows as little as you do about course requirements.
    – Splurge on a good pen or pencil. A really really good one.
    – DON’T bring your laptop to class. It’s distracting to you and distracting to other people.
    – Engineers: Gateway has, is, and always will be, a joke.
    – Sign up for an elective that is outside your comfort zone.
    – Meal plans: pick the one with the most points and the fewest meals.
    – Lerner is NOT a student center. Remembering that fact will make coping with it that much easier. Also, the elevators suck. Always use the fire stairs that are hidden nearby.
    – Use the gym. It’s actually pretty decent.
    – Subways are NEVER, EVER referred to by color.
    – School spirit: we don’t have it. Unless you’re part of the marching band.

    1. Good advice, but... says:

      @Good advice, but... Choose ROP.

    2. HOP says:

      @HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP errybody!

      1. HOP Leader '11 says:

        @HOP Leader '11 Sir, you are 6 “HOP”s short. Please correct this tragic error.

    3. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous signing up for as many mailing lists as possible will spam up your life. don’t do itttt!

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous lol @ east coast elite guy.

    >Class of 2016
    >not being part of the 1%

    ISHYGDDT

    1. anon says:

      @anon trying to greentext on bwog is kind of koan-like. I’m not sure what it’s supposed to mean.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I read this during my lit hum study session and laughed out loud when one girl was talking about the role of nudity in the bible.
    As a ’15 EDer, I almost feel embarrassed for these youngins. In a year from now, they will have very different feelings.
    But this is HILARIOUS

  • LizzieMcGuire...IMeanHilaryDuffWasMyIdol says:

    @LizzieMcGuire...IMeanHilaryDuffWasMyIdol Bwog, how long have you been waiting for ’16 to get here so you can pull out your MTV reference?

  • Just wait says:

    @Just wait Soon the cynicism will fade to nostalgia and when you graduate, you will miss the holy hell out of Columbia (plus you’ll get hit with a great case of amnesia for most of the shittiest parts of college). Enjoy it now kiddos

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous tell them how I spent more time in Butler on saturday than I did sleeping in the three days before that. then again, they should learn about the joys of exams for themselves.

    hoorayy for cynicism already kicking in! class of ’15 ftw.
    (but in case any ED ’16 peoples are reading this, I still love it here. it just sucks. a ton. quite frequently. but it’s worth it.)

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous just a bit of perspective, I think we all forget this sometimes.

    http://mitadmissions.org/blogs/entry/50_things

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Jut a bit of perspective… I usually forget these things while I’m here.

    http://mitadmissions.org/blogs/entry/50_things

  • Senior says:

    @Senior so cute…I was like that, once a upon a time…

  • optimist says:

    @optimist your misery and self-loathing is not columbia’s fault. stress is self-inflicted. maybe you shouldn’t double major and study abroad instead. take advantage of everything columbia has to offer instead of focusing on what it’s taking away. PLEASE because you’re killing my buzz.

    1. truth says:

      @truth PREACH.

    2. or says:

      @or double-major AND study abroad.
      love, cc’12.
      NO TOMORROW!

  • .... says:

    @.... No one likes you.

  • AHAHAHA says:

    @AHAHAHA They think butler is beautiful! AHAHAHAHAHAHA

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous What you DO in butler is not beautiful, but the structure itself is pretty stunning. Don’t take this lovely campus for granted!

  • Dear '16ers says:

    @Dear '16ers I was in your situation this time last year: reading BWOG’s angry comments, terrified that people are actually like that on campus – jaded, mean and snappy.

    They’re not. I have had three awesome, happy semesters at Columbia. I’ve been drunk, high, sober, sad, having sex, not having sex, going downtown, sleeping in, laying on the lawns, spending nights in Butler, all in a satisfying ratio…

    …and I feel fine.

    Welcome to Columbia, kids, it gon be GREAT.

    1. i swore says:

      @i swore “three, awesome” was “threesome” when i read that just now

  • Don't despair.... says:

    @Don't despair.... The Hard Core is coming to alleviate your woes and excite your synapses!

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Don’t worry students with ED can still have overnights.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Damn, do you know how shitty this makes the ’16 feel? I applied ED this year and got in and was so pumped to go here, then I read this and the people sound so douchey…. get over yourselves

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Is there a Bwog post for these snobby Bwog comments? You guys sound just as ridiculous as the 16ers, honestly.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Okay. I get this post. When you live in a big city and you’re crumpling under an Ivy League workload, cynicism seems like a fixed fate, and all the happy newcomers sound like happy yapping squirrels outside your window with squeaks that sound a lot like “SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME!” I blame nobody for taking licks at ED kids like me.

    We’re just relieved to be in college. We’re relieved to be out of high school.

    And most of all, we’re relieved because it seems like the freshmen actually get along with one another, although nobody knows how long it’ll last. But we’re happy, and we’re not entirely wrong to be happy. We’re acting silly and hyperactive because it seems like all’s right with the world for once.

    I don’t hold anything against current Columbian upperclassmen. The ones commenting here have a good point, and I know there are plenty of happy Columbians who just aren’t on the internet right now. I think a lot of what we see as cruelty or just douchebaggery is veiled disappointment––everyone remembers how they felt as a pre-frosh, and I’m guessing it’s a little painful, especially if you had high hopes and you’re currently in a (finals) rut. Plus, I think Bwog comments bring out the worst in people at times.

    We’re going to be disappointed in some ways. Sure. But I’m also holding onto a stupid strand of faith that says we’re going to have incredible experiences at Columbia––better than the imaginary College Experiences in our heads––and every four-year Columbia education is entirely contingent on the person.

    Here’s to realistic optimism. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone next fall, and I believe in my heart that no matter how dark things seem in the midst of things, the majority of students love their school and are happy they attend. I love you, Columbia.

    – CC ’16

    1. that's nice but says:

      @that's nice but not all the freshmen will be like they act online. Honestly I didn’t meet any of my closest friends here on fb before classes started. All your schedules will be different and chances are you will go through the awkward “I talked to you on facebook but I don’t want to come up to you because I don’t know if you remember me” moment several times during NSOP and throughout the year.

      Don’t get these posts wrong, you definitely will have some great experiences here I’m only a sophomore and I already have some great memories with some amazing friends.

      Keep your optimism but just relax now that you’ve been accepted. Don’t try to become best friends with the ten people that liked a comment on the fb group page. Don’t think that you need to make witty remarks and show why you got into Columbia. You’re in, you deserve it. The end.

      Good luck,
      SEAS’14

    2. CC '13 says:

      @CC '13 Dear CC ’16,

      Congratulations on your acceptance to Columbia!

      I want to respond to something you said in your post– “I’m also holding onto a stupid strand of faith that says we’re going to have incredible experiences at Columbia––better than the imaginary College Experiences in our heads”

      DAMN STRAIGHT!

      Your time at Columbia will me more fun, more educational, more eventful, and more incredible than you can imagine.

      But hey, if you try to make friends before you arrive on campus in the fall, or if you act like you need to prove that you deserve to be here, upperclassmen will be justified in making fun of you.

      That said, don’t lose you’re enthusiasm. It’s valid. You’re going to fucking Columbia!!!!!

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Seriously Bwog? How did you get access to this group? If you’re in URC you’re really abusing your position. These kids are supposed to feel encouraged to ask questions (even if they are inane) and express their enthusiasm (even if ours has diminished) without fear of being posted here for all to mock. Questionable journalistic ethics you got thurr.

  • 2016 EDer says:

    @2016 EDer I worked my ass off to get into columbia, so you damn right I’m gonna be as happy as I damn well please to be! All u negative ass commenters do is make columbia look bad, and if you’re so damn jaded, then transfer! I’m gonna ask as many dumb questions as I like and marvel at the buildings cuz I earned dat shit.

  • .... says:

    @.... chill

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