May

10

TL;DR Hide Your Weed

Written by

The latest in Obamanard security measures, sent out this morning to residents of the buildings bordering South Lawn:

Dear [Resident],

We hope that you had a successful close to the spring semester!

As a resident with Extended or Interim Housing living in one of the residence halls on South Field, you will be required to be out of your current building no later than 4:00 pm on Sunday, May 13th and will not be allowed access back into your building until 3:00 pm on Monday, May 14th. This is required by the Secret Service as a security measure related to President Obama’s visit to campus. In most instances, students with Extended Housing and Interim Housing will be moving all of their belongings to Wien Hall on Sunday afternoon.

If you are a member of a sponsored group, and will be away from campus on Saturday, Sunday, and/or Monday, you may be moving your belongings to storage in Schapiro Hall. In limited instances, residents will be allowed to leave belongings in their current room with an Extension Card. Please note that ALL ROOMS in the five South Field buildings will be searched by the Secret Service with trained dogs, whether your room is vacant or has belongings. If you live reasonably close, you may want to plan to take your belongings home prior to your Extended Housing. You should be packed and prepared to move as soon as you are notified because no one can be in the building after 4:00 pm on Sunday. If you will be away from campus, you MUST make sure to get your belongings moved out of South Field before you leave campus.

If you are approved to leave belongings in your room, your RA will post an Extension Card on your room door by noon on Saturday, May 12th indicating the date until which your belongings may remain in your room. If you do not receive an Extension Card by 12:00 noon on Saturday, come to 118 Hartley immediately to ensure that your belongings will not be discarded.

Please make sure that items left in any room do not violate the policies and procedures outlined in the Guide to Living or the Terms & Conditions of Residence.

You will receive additional e-mail specifying your specific Extended/Interim Housing arrangements. Please do not leave campus without verifying the specifics of your individual situation. You should come to 118 Hartley if you need additional information or assistance.

We are asking everyone on South Field to close your windows, pull the shades, and lock your door.

Thank you for your patience, and please let us know if you have any questions.

Regards,

Columbia Housing

[email protected]

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9 Comments

  1. All I got from the highlighted text was...  

    PUPPIES!!!

  2. Anonymous  

    this is fucking insane

  3. To: Current Tenant of John Jay 1326

    Hey bro, I may have accidentally left some goodies in the hidden desk panel back in '08. Just giving you a heads up. Stay classy, kids.

  4. Anonymous  

    Diva status. Jesus.

  5. Anonymous  

    great networking opportunity.

  6. Are the South Field dorms  

    just the freshman dorms on the main quad? Or will the buildings on 114th be searched?

  7. Anonymous

    TL;DR hide your BOMBS. The secret services do not care about recreational drug use. The trained dogs are for bomb detection.

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