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How To Scream Like You Mean It

If you’ve been cooped up in Butler for the past week like we have, you’ve probably forgotten how to use your voice/form words/engage with others. That’s okay. For your sake, and for that of the 2015ers, we’ll repost our comprehensive guide to Columbia’s loudest and most transient school tradition.  

"O-face" optional.

Finals got you down? Then you can verbally vent your frustrations by participating in the Primal Scream. The guide for noobs:

  • If your clock or watch is not auto-synced to the NIST’s Cesium Fountain Atomic Clock (i.e. the Internet), make sure you’ve set it correctly. When in doubt, Bwog recommends a cell phone for superior accuracy.
  • At midnight, open your window or go outside.
  • Scream. Loudly. It should sound like this. Morningside Heights residents will wonder if you’ve been “skewered,” apparently.
  • Keep it short. Some of you will be tempted to scream for more than three minutes. Ignore this temptation.
If you have more stress than you can possibly release verbally, bring yourself, a pillow, and your “caged frustration” to the tents in front of Butler for a school-wide pillow fight. Rain or shine cold, dry darkness to parallel that of your soul, the festivities commence at midnight.

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9 Comments

  • VUVU says:

    @VUVU ZELA

  • VULVA says:

    @VULVA ZELDA

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Dude, the pillow fight is one of the coolest columbia traditions! Everyone come!

    1. Abed Nadir says:

      @Abed Nadir The war won’t stop with First Blood Part II. It will escalate to Rambo III – which should really be called Rambo II: First Blood, Part III. But the Rambo titles never made sense…and neither does war.

      1. LeRoy Jenkins says:

        @LeRoy Jenkins The spacsucks community endorses this lucid comment.

  • A Radical says:

    @A Radical I scraem for the end of dicatorships, poverty and hunger as well as AIDS and retroviral diseases rather than focuseing on my narrow microscopic world of me me me and my “HARD” courses. Boo hoo. Why don’t i give you malaria and hunger and then we will see who has the strenght to scream for anything!!

    1. LeRoy II says:

      @LeRoy II We at teh spécsucks community DO NOT support this comment and value the hard world of Columbia students who wish to further both themselves and the local suffering world around them.

  • Motley Crue says:

    @Motley Crue Scream and shout, tear that sucker down

  • WEAK SAUCE says:

    @WEAK SAUCE YOU CALL THAT A PRIMAL SCREAM?!?!?!?!?!

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