Aug

29

The Bwog Condom Guide

Written by

Dear Class of 2016: We hear you’re going to the zoo tomorrow. And because we know things can get pretty wild at the zoo (especially when they have a DJ “mixing tunes”) we want to make sure that you stay safe before, during, and after your encounter with the wild side. Below are all the spots on campus where you can find all the condoms you could possibly desire or require.

Good luck!

Love, Bwog

A Fictional Census of Morningside Heights

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33 Comments

  1. Haha

    Click to enlarge...

    Ahem.

  2. Anonymous

    I heard you can't get pregnant if you do it in the Butt but that chick I met in the stacks disagrees. Someone help!

  3. Anonymous

    This map has saved me before and will hopefully save many a person again from horniness and babies! =)

  4. Anonymous

    also some in office of residential programs (lerner 5)

  5. Harmony Hunter

    Can anyone tell me where to find Harmony? I heard they've got strawberry flavored condoms there.

  6. Anonymous

    Just because you bought a ticket doesn't mean you get to go on the ride.

  7. ugh

    * your

    ps. sucks to undermine my own old-man-musings with grammatical mistakes

  8. Hey hey hey!  

    No glove, no love.

  9. hipster whore

    condoms are soo yesterday

  10. Anonymous

    hey, they are less than 21.

  11. Anonymous

    glove, glove, glove, glove, glove, glove, glove, glove, glove.
    There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
    Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
    Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
    It's easy.
    There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
    No one you can save that can't be saved.
    Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you
    in time - It's easy.

    All you need is glove, all you need is glove,
    All you need is glove, glove, glove is all you need.
    glove, glove, glove, glove, glove, glove, glove, glove, glove.
    All you need is glove, all you need is glove,
    All you need is glove, glove, glove is all you need.
    There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
    Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
    Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
    It's easy.
    All you need is glove, all you need is glove,
    All you need is glove, glove, glove is all you need.
    All you need is glove (all together now)
    All you need is glove (everybody)
    All you need is glove, glove, glove is all you need.

  12. Alice!

    Alice! Health Promotion, part of Columbia Health, now offers an interactive map to help students locate safer sex supplies. Each listing includes hours, types of safer sex supplies, and more. The map will be expanded as new locations are confirmed and added. Feel free to send locations to [email protected] After we verify the information we can add it to the map. http://health.columbia.edu/services/alice/sexual-health

  13. Anonymous

    Have you seen the interactive map from Alice!?http://health.columbia.edu/services/alice/sexual-health Each listing includes the hours, safer sex options by location, and specific spot in the building. More locations are being confirmed and will then be added to the map soon. Send any location suggestions to [email protected]

  14. Anonymous

    She gloves you, yeah yeah yeah
    She gloves you, yeah yeah yeah
    She gloves you, yeah yeah yeah yeah

    You think you've lost your glove
    Well, I saw her yesterday
    It's you she's thinking of
    And she told me what to say

    She says she gloves you
    And you know that can't be bad
    Yes, she gloves you
    And you know you should be glad

    She said you hurt her so
    She almost lost her mind
    But now she says she knows
    You're not the hurting kind

    She says she gloves you
    And you know that can't be bad
    Yes, she gloves you
    And you know you should be glad, ooh!

    She gloves you, yeah yeah yeah
    She gloves you, yeah yeah yeah
    With a glove like that
    You know you should be glad

    You know it's up to you
    I think it's only fair
    Pride can hurt you too
    Apologize to her

    Because she gloves you
    And you know that can't be bad
    She gloves you
    And you know you should be glad, ooh!

    She gloves you, yeah yeah yeah
    She gloves you, yeah yeah yeah
    With a glove like that
    You know you should be gladgglove

    With a glove like that
    You know you should be glad
    With a glove like that
    You know you should, be glad!

    Yeah yeah yeah
    Yeah yeah yeah yeah

  15. Jk

    Too late, I already flagged 5 feedbags with my awesome, agile, and amazing cum...

  16. Anonymous

    what about female condoms?

  17. Ok, but for seriously...  

    Do they have different sized condoms? Or is this a one-size-fits-all deal, because I'm not saying but I'm just saying, I've only ever used Magnum XLs.

  18. Anonymous  

    Yep. Currently LifeStyles XL are available, but trojan condoms are coming to campus later this semester.

  19. Anonymous

    do they deliver?

  20. Baby Roulette

    I have poked holes in random ones around campus! Have fun!

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