The Crown Jewels

Dear Bwog,

I was casually walking around naked in my girlfriend’s Shafted Woodbridge duplex post-coitus when I heard giggles. Two girls from across the shaft caught me snacking naked in the kitchen. Shafted (and in so many ways!), I now turn to you for advice: how should I handle this situation?

— Buttler

Dear Buttler,

First, put some clothes on before writing your email—I live across from your shaft too. Second, let’s address this situation pragmatically. Depending on your character, there are a few ways you could handle such a situation:

• The Surrender: put some clothes on and avoid the girls for the rest of the year at all costs.
• The Batman: next time you want to go for a naked stroll, turn the lights off, put the blinds down, and wear a cape. The night is your friend.
• The Conciliator: turn around and face the window like a man… don’t half ass it.
• The Avenger: gain some weight and repeat your public naked frolics.
• The Entertainer: dance. If you’re going to entertain, do it all the way.

Of course, we may have forgotten a few, but this should give you a few options to play with next time you find yourself in such a situation.

Much love,

Bwog

The Full Monty via Wikimedia Commons