How To Write Your Final Paper: Thesis Statement Mad Libs
Written by Bwog Staff
Writing papers on three hours of sleep and two shots of espresso is hard, but slaving away in Butler has its benefits–Bwog’s got the composition process almost down to a science. To help you through this finals season, here are some helpful guidelines for getting your thesis statement from your brain onto the page. First up, a guide to starting papers for CC and English classes.
Man has been perfecting the art of ________ (philosophy/theology/deontepistemideology) since _________ (the beginning of time/whenever Ancient Greece was/twenty minutes ago when I opened this Word document). Though drastically different, both _________ (Greek-sounding name) and _________ (dead white guy from any other culture) have played instrumental roles in the development of ___________ (Western thought/pretentious party conversations/this class’s syllabus), and has directly influenced movements from __________ (obscure school of philosophy ending in “-ism”) to _________ (nineteenth century American political party). In this paper, I ________ (hope/aim/will desperately attempt over the course of ten straight hours in 209) to _________ (contrast/deconstruct/problematize) these thinkers’ views with regard to __________ (race/gender) through the lens of __________ (scholar recycled from UWriting). Ultimately, the legacy of these authors is mixed, both undeniably __________ (ten-syllable word meaning “good”) and troublingly __________ (ten-syllable word meaning “racist” or “sexist”).
The relationship between ____ (protagonist) and ____ (other character/ambiguous natural force/same protagonist) is one characterized by ___(out of place pseudo-scientific word, i.e inertia). As the extra-linguistic style of ___ (chapter name) mimics the internal structure of ____ (protagonist’s) mental space — (throw in three to seven descriptive words that are themselves extra-linguistic) — so too does the macrocosm of ___ (location) reflect the ___(natural force; may or may not be the same as above) operating within and around the ___(noun) of ___(protagonist). Stylistic form further follows narrative function in the ____(adjective)____(location) of ___(chapter title or event in the novel); the effect of ____(minor character/animal/plant) upon the self-recognition of ____(protagonist) is dependent on the (literary device with extra- or super- in front of it) at play throughout the _____(adjective) development of _____(character/location/any theme). I will execute my thesis in a/an _____ (analytical/heuristic/
*the more em-dashes, the better. When in doubt, em-dashes and semicolons may be used interchangeably.
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Tags: all of the semicolons, bwog blatantly making fun of its disciplines, disclaimer: do not actually hand these in to your professor, finals, heuristic: the greatest possible word, mad libs, mad libs but for a grade, thesis statement mad libs, thesis statements, we're here to help