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DWB: Midterms Power Hour

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Let this dog-bartender ease your worries

Whether you’ve been done with midterms for weeks, or still have to take a Frontiers exam tomorrow (sucka), you need a drink that will fulfill the dual requirements of allowing you to a) stay awake in the shwastiest of ways and b) to do it without the fatal flaw of being as clichéd as a vodka Redbull or as disgusting as a 4Loko. Behold, the two most important drugs you’ll ever use in one stunning package.

The 5-Ounce Energy

  • 1 oz gin
  • 1 oz whisky
  • 1 oz tequila
  • 1 oz rum
  • 1 oz 5-hour energy

No mixing. Take each shot down in quick succession, starting from the top and ending with the 5-hour energy. For the strong of heart (and stomach), finish the whole 2-oz 5-hour energy and START STUDYING RIGHT NOW.

Coffee-quila

  • 1 part tequila
  • 1 part espresso

We’re not sure if we’re joking about this one, either.

The Classic

  • 1.5 oz vodka
  • 1.5 oz Kahlua
  • 1 strong cup of coffee
  • Milk, to taste

Brew the coffee, add vodka and Kahlua, then milk, and stir.

when you just search “alcohol” and get a dog-bartender via Shutterstock

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9 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous That picture is so fake

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Like, it actually bothers me

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous I can’t stop thinking about that stupid fuckin picture. It’s ruining my life

        1. Anonymous says:

          @Anonymous Seriously, I can’t sleep because of it. I’ve just been staring at it and commenting and brooding this whole time. Please take it down, BWOG.

          1. Anonymous says:

            @Anonymous Oh my god! Enough of this awful picture! Just get rid of it already so I can move on with my life!!!

    2. Dog Bartender says:

      @Dog Bartender fuck y’alls i passed the CU bartending exam OKAY

  • Freshman in Frontiers says:

    @Freshman in Frontiers I can’t wait for Spring Break! Are they actually allowed to put a midterm (Frontiers of Science) on a day we do not have class?

    1. Suck it up says:

      @Suck it up It was on a Sunday last year

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Would this actually work or is Bwog just fucking around now? Cause I’ll do it. I’m fucking crazy

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