Dec

2

PSA: Winter Is Coming

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Campus will look like this eventually.
Campus will look like this eventually.

Campus will look like this eventually.

In case you’ve been nestled in Butler for the past month, it’s cold outside. Because Bwog loves you and doesn’t want you to freeze, we asked resident Michigander and Senior Staff Writer Alexander Pines for some tips on staying warm.

The Practical

  • This is basic, but important: gloves, scarf, hat. I’m serious. You lose a lot of body heat through your extremities and bright red hands aren’t a cute look on anyone. You can pick up a cheap pair of gloves and a beanie/skullcap/head covering of choice from basically anywhere–and, if the only money you have left to spend is Monopoly money Flex, the bookstore has decent touch-screen friendly gloves.
  • If you don’t have touch-screen enabled gloves, pull out the headphones that came with your iPhone and use the attached mic. You can use Siri to make calls or send texts/emails and adjust the volume/skip songs by squeezing the buttons. Furiously fumbling to untangle the cord keeps the blood flowing!
  • Also basic, but layers. Seriously. Even a second tee shirt underneath your sweater helps a lot. Double up on socks underneath your boots (which you should also consider investing in), throw on a thin down layer underneath your peacoat, or wear longjohns/leggings under your jeans.
  • Change up the cotton gear for something wool and wear under a heavier, waterproof layer.
  • Get some hand warmers. Put one in each pocket and, for the truly dedicated, one in each shoe/boot.
  • Alternatively, use kittens. Beware of teeth.
  • Wear black. Not only does it go with everything, but darker colors absorb heat better.
  • Waterproof as many things as possible. Nothing is worse than walking through a puddle/snow, soaking your shoes, and having wet, cold socks all day.
  • If you must smoke, do so in front of Butler at peak hours. The constant opening and closing of the doors will blast you with warmth as you think about all of the homework you’re not doing. For the mobile smoker, walk over the subway grates. Beware of sewage stench.
  • Get a hot beverage. If you don’t want to blow four bucks at Starbucks, pick up a reusable thermos and fill it with tea. You’ll have something warm to hold and there’s nothing more comforting than drinking something warm on a cold-ass day.
  • For the adventurous (or Barnard students, since they’re open), try the tunnels.

The Less Practical

  • Imagine that you’re in a bottle of hot sauce. Not sure if it works, but my ex always told me to do it.
  • Try to be aware of every single follicle of hair on your body. Imagine them keeping you warm. Suggested by a fellow Michigander who was contemplating running around naked in Montana.
  • Get a cuddle buddy. Ideally one who takes all of the same classes as you so you can go halfsies on a giant coat and walk around together.
  • Impersonate a Public Safety officer for one of their fur hats.
  • In icy weather/whenever walking on that slick as hell granite in front of Butler, channel your inner penguin and walk like one.
  • Carry your comforter around like a blanket, Superman-style. Anywhere can be your bed!
  • Beg your professors to come over to their apartments and take hot baths. Pretend you’re from somewhere near the Equator and insist that you might actually die from the cold if they don’t invite you over.
  • Learn how to set parts of your body on fire without burning yourself. Makes for a unique skill on your resume.
  • If you have access to a kitchen, heat up a skillet on the stove and use it to warm your sheets before going to bed. Be careful to not burn the sheets/set off the fire alarm.
  • Burn completed assignments. Cathartic and toasty! (But again, please don’t be that asshole who sets off the fire alarm.)
  • Instead of studying for finals, watch romantic comedies all day long and warm yourself with happy butterflies/bitter tears.
  • Study in Dodge instead of the library! Nothing like being surrounded by sweaty people to keep you cozy. Alternatively, do your reading on the bike machine (or, if you’re brave, the treadmill).
  • Instead of walking to class, do jumping jacks!

Did Bwog miss something? Feel free to sound off on the comments with your own suggestions.

Snowy campus via Alexander Pines.

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1 Comment

  1. oh for god's sake

    It's not that cold. Whiners.

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