We see you, Putin

Despite controversy surrounding Russia’s gay propaganda laws, the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics started off with a bang last night. The opening ceremony oscillated between creepy, glitchy, and magnificent. Bwog wants to share our favorite parts of the show with you:

1. The light-up Olympic rings fiasco, which became a t-shirt the instant it happened. How did the designer do it? Is he psychic?
2. Germany’s rainbow uniforms. A thinly veiled political statement? Probably not, but they look cool anyway.
3. Putin’s facial expression.
4. The creepy voice reciting the Russian Cyrillic alphabet. No wonder it felt like forever. They have 33 letters.
5. The questionable video of Russian “history” depicting the Russian Revolution as just such a darn happy time.
6. Endlessly spinning glowing jellyfish.
7. The ballet rendition of War and Peace in which two men briefly embraced. Those dancers were getting risky.
8. The Hunger Games-esque ensembles of the opening ceremony escorts. We were half-expecting to see the Girl on Fire.
9. The U.S.’s ugly Christmas sweater uniforms. You outdid yourself, Ralph Lauren. But we think they could have used some more stars and stripes. That would have made them less tacky.

Not amused via Shutterstock