Takes absolutely forever. By forever, we mean about a month, which still seems like an excessively long time. Facilities seems to only work in the early hours of the morning, and it seems to us that the whole thing could get done in about four or five days of consistent labor, perhaps even sometime after finals. Nonetheless our paths will be impeded, our façade obscured, our beautiful spring campus clad in ugly metal dress. To let out some of this pent up frustration, here are some of the things you could do in the time it takes to put up the commencement bleachers:
- Create 1/9 of a baby
- Write a novel
- Build a fair amount of trust in someone
- Walk to Idaho
- Go to 1020 31 nights in a row
- Make a Bwog squirrel calendar
- Make a Bwog sexy calendar
- Make a Bwog sexy squirrel calendar
- Build two 30-story hotels in China
- Craft a melted ice sculpture
- Have a tadpole that is nearly a frog
- Count to 2629746
- Pick housing twice
- Exponentially increase your rabbit population
- Finish half of all the Core readings, and that’s with time for sleep and food!
Core Readings: B-of-the-E Assumptions
- It takes a typical student 4 hours to complete the reading for each class
- CC, LitHum, ArtHum, MusicHum, and 2 GC = 8 classes
- there are 14 weeks of school
- each class meets twice a week
Science?
- 4 hours × 2 classes/week × 14 weeks = 112 hours spent on reading for the average core class
- 31 days × 24 hours/day = 744 hours
- 744/112 = 6.64 core classes you could do the reading for
- 6.64/8 = 83% of the core
The above is if you are studying non-stop. If you are a real human, and need to sleep and eat however, we need to allow for 7 hours sleep, 1 hour getting ready/using the bathroom throughout the day, 20 minutes ( 1/3 hr) for each meal, and 3 meals/day, then:
- (1/3) × 3 + 1 + 7 = 9 hours/day wasted on frivolities
- 31 × 9 = 279 hours spent on basic survival in a month
- 744 – 279= 465 hours left for you to read the core
- 465/112= 4.15 core classes you could do the reading for
- 4.15/8= 51.8% of the core
Note: does not account for time spent on essays, attending classes, or weeping.
5 Comments
@senior The bleachers aren’t ugly, they’re beautiful. Glorious symbols of my coming redemption.
@senior too and a daily reminder that i don’t seem to have learnt anything in the four year-long party i’ve just attended at these not-so-hallowed grounds.
@thomas what’s the longest streak for consecutive days at 1020?
@Alexandra #tbt http://bwog.com/2013/05/16/1020-from-open-to-close/
@Anonymous >assuming that artHum and musicHum require the same amount of reading time