The home base

Brave souls Maia Berlow and Robert Sheardown brought the exaggerated phrase “I literally live in Butler” to credible life by spending their entire weekends actually cooped up in Butler. Starting on Friday and ending on Sunday, they’ve somewhat surprisingly lived to tell you the tale of 48 hours in The But.

Backpacks stuffed, extra bags in hand, and a set of Bananagrams, they were ready for 48 hours in the But. Maia arrived at 9:00 am EDT Friday the 3rd of October to be joined by Robert at 4:12 pm EDT Friday the 3rd of October. For the first few hours, Maia sat and did her homework, dreaming of the outside world, and seeing a surprising number of girls not wearing bras. In her boredom, she caught a lot of shade for laughing at these adorable cats. When Robert joined her she showed him the adorable cats. Which are definitely cats – they would know. Because serious research is done in Butler.

To add another element to the challenge, Robert and Maia were fasting for 24 hours to mimic someone who was actually spending their life in Butler. They fantasized about food for the afternoon, including the only food they had: cardboard-tasting Mini Wheats and are-they-really-more-than-good Frosted Flakes. At 6:16 pm EDT they got a text from a friend asking if they wanted food. An angel descended from a Butler mural -they wanted food. Their friend decided to go the less complicated, but illegal under Butler law route; smuggle them food in cups. They had asked for cups, but their friend really took it to heart. They brought pizza and tons of other food in cups, most notably Nutella and hummus. In a terrifying moment in their life, the Ferris hummus actually tasted good. Once it started to taste like usual Ferris hummus, they decided they might as well improve it and mix it with Nutella. Do not try this at home.

The hallway they were mainly chilling in smelled like vomit the entire weekend. Whoever is coming to Butler drunk and throwing up (lookin’ at you Initiation video) – please don’t. Spare us.

After dinner they were in need of a thrill (not the kind that’s so famous in the stacks), so they ventured above to the 9th floor. Maybe it was the frosted glass windows, maybe it was the hallways so white and narrow, maybe it was the fact that the hallway ended in a restroom, but they were terrified.

They ventured to another room with a scenic view of the Carman penitentiary and the Ferris dessert case. They then inflated their air mattresses (which two kind friends had lent to them), which entailed pissing off the entire floor because it sounded like a truck. They subsequently played mildly turnt Banagrams, scoped out the tunnel entrance and the roof and then decided to turn in, eager to see if the people who had reserved the room for 9:00 am EDT would show up (spoiler alert: they didn’t—or maybe they were just courteous and didn’t want to wake them). (Side note: A GS Student came a took picture of them)

They woke up at 11am. What a restful night. They did pathetic things like brush their teeth, change their shirts and wash their faces. Onto a day of more homework! The previous night they’d seen one girl who spent the entire night on the same floor, but unlike them was working and taking hourly breaks to pace the hallways whilst sipping coffee. They saw her again in the morning – still pacing – as of Saturday evening. They did all the classic Butler moves: exploring the stacks, the roof, and the tunnels…or at least they tried. After trying to use a screwdriver, a pen and a plastic Chipotle fork, they decided it just wasn’t going to happen. They even tried to get in from the service elevator. Futile. To make themselves feel better they decided to turn up, do some more exploring, play Anaconda in the reading room, and play more Bananagrams. And turn up a bit more. Following an intense dance party in a group study room, one that attracted the attention of many people studying in the next room, it was time for bed. (Update: The GS Student came back, the girl was still pacing). Maia woke up early in the morning and left at 9:00am EDT Sunday the 5th of October leaving Robert still sleeping. Robert left at 2:12pm EDT Sunday the 5th of October (he apologizes for the missing two hours but sometimes meetings and classes happen in the wrong time slots). As of this time of writing sweater girl is known to still be pacing.

Pics or it didn’t happen via Maia & Robert