5 CommentsYou can’t spell “Ooze Marauder” without Maud Rozee. And you probably wouldn’t want to.
The day is cold and disgustingly wet. Your umbrella is MIA. You have to walk from Pupin to Schermerhorn before your next class but at this point you would rather just crawl into the closest electrical closet and nap until spring. We’ve all been there a million times, am I right? Well, I’ve found the solution to your extremely specific and frankly negligible problem: the legendary “Northern Trail”, a path through skyways and byways that can get you from Pupin to Schermerhorn without ever going outside. Take my hand, I’ll be your guide:
The trail starts off easily. Enter Pupin and take the elevator to the 11th floor, which connects through to the CESPR then Mudd through a series of bridges. Then, take the Mudd elevator down to the FIRST floor (NOT the ground floor and NOT the basement).
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- Note the sign cautioning travellers
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- Maud’s thumb, as well as an indication of how she’s doing post-Bwog
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- Take a minute to laugh at the wet losers below you
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- The Mudd elevators are notoriously slow… and dangerous
Take a sharp left on the first floor of Mudd and go straight through a series of doors into a covered garage. I lied about the trail not going outside. You’re not going to get rained on, though, I promise. You have to trust me, or we’ll both be lost. Walk straight across the garage and through the fire door on the other side:
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- Don’t stray from the wooden planks or you will die
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- Take the door on the right! The two on the left lead to a room full of rabid tigers
Now, this is where it gets really tricky. Go up the stairs and check your calendar and watch. If it’s between 8 a.m. and 6 p.m.on a weekday, proceed through the door marked “2”. If it’s not, you’re out of luck, I’m so, so sorry. If you got through, walk straight and go right at the fork in the hallway. Hold your head high and act like you know where you are. Continue down that hallway, following exit signs, as it winds around a corner:
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- Door Two of Terrors, the ancients called it
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- Where are we? What building are we under? Nobody knows.
Go into the S stairwell. No alarm will sound, I disabled it many years ago by chewing through the wires. Also you can re-enter, I asked a facilities worker. Take the stairs up and go through the next door. Take a left and go through another set of doors. You are now in the Schermerhorn extension.
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- The Door of Trespass into the stairwell
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- The Door of Wonders out of the stairwell
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- The Door of Temptation in the Schermerhorn Extension
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- A friendly sign in the wilderness
Now all you have left is to pass through approximately 5000 fire doors, following exit signs and not straying from the path (there is one weird door that takes you into a stairwell, just go straight through the door ahead of you). Eventually, you’ll find the elevator and take it one floor up to the ground floor (or wherever your class is). This is where I leave you. You’re safe now.
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- Behold!
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- FREEDOM
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5 Comments
@Anonymous All of the Science buildings are connected from Schermerhorn around to Havemeyer. The large building that goes from Mudd, under Fairchild to Schermerhorn is the Engineeering Terrace building.
@Anonymous literally just take the tunnel under dodge to schermerhorn
@Jamie how
@Yes how... … because you can’t take the bridge, you need ID access and not everybody has it.
@Anonymous Are you talking about the bridges to and from CEPSR? Those are open during weekday normal working hours.