Such friends! Much party!

Saturday is finally the day that most students dream about as they drool on their laptop after falling asleep at 2 AM in ButCaf—Bacchanal! One Bwogger brings you a guide to survive the best day of the year as a Columbia student and actually have a memorable experience (depending on whether or not you can actually remember the day.)

The night before Bacchanal:

• It’s probably best to not go out and go hard the night before. You’re going to want to be fresh and alive starting early on Saturday, and the quickest way to ruin your day is to suffer through a hangover on the way to your first pregame. Tuck yourself into bed with a few episodes of Friends early to ensure pleasant dreams and copious amounts of rest.
• Pop your Jell-O shots and other libations in the fridge to chill down. Jell-O shots will be ready to go in the morning if you make them the night before. Also, nobody wants to drink warm vodka. Roll a couple blunts while you’re at it.
• Pick up your room and hide your valuables if you’re hosting a pregame tomorrow. Drunk people are kleptos and someone is bound to steal your shit if you don’t hide it.
• Put together your Bacchanal playlist on Spotify (aka put the new Big Sean album on with the couple of songs you know by Raury and Brenmar.)
• Lay out your flower crown, high-wasted shorts, flag of choice, and most revealing crop-top/bro-tank so you can roll out of bed and easily find your attire for the day.

The morning of Bacchanal:

• Grab some crappy white t-shirt you only wear to bed and head over to Holi! Holi will begin 11 AM in East Campus, so make sure to take a few swigs of sweet nectar from the Gods (aka a mimosa) and head over to get covered in paint. Pro-tip: have your towel and shower caddy ready so you can sprint to the shower first and get a stall while they’re open. All dorm bathrooms will immediately become a war-zone of paint and dirty clothes by 11:30 AM at the latest. Put your phone on the charger while you shower so you don’t end up with a dead phone come time to Snapchat Big Sean to all of your friends.
• Pick up your wrist band! We’ve been told that it’s smartest to just pick up your wrist band when Bacchanal starts handing them out around 10 AM. Pick them up early so you won’t have to worry about it for the rest of the day/battle the long lines right before performers go on.
• Pace thyself, young grasshopper. You’ll probably be partaking in some good fun throughout the day, so don’t end up going hard all morning and pass out at noon. Nobody wants to drag your drunk ass home before the fun even begins.
• Eat. RA’s will probably be shoving bagels in your face like last year, but make sure you take some time to actually carbo-load in the morning. Soak up that cheap vodka with something filling around mid-day so you don’t end up passing out/not making it to the actual event.
• Start hopping to and from all of the pregames you were invited to. It’s totally chill to hang out with the same group all day, but most people end up bouncing around dorm rooms and drinking other people’s alcohol. Take a buddy with you. The buddy rule will be essential today so you don’t end up crying out in front of your dorm because you can’t find Samantha!!!!

The main event:

• Rumor has it that Bacchanal’s performances will begin later than last year’s with Big Sean not expected to hit the stage until late afternoon. Luckily, you can enter in and out of the concert spaces with your wristband whenever you please, so just figure out what acts you actually want to see
• Don’t stand right in the middle! You will get smooshed in the crowd and have an unpleasant time. Also, if you’re standing next to a bunch of dickheads, just move. It’s not worth letting their shittiness ruin your good time.
• Don’t be that dickhead.
• Go potty before you enter the crowd. Trust us; you’ll thank us later after the gallon of booze you already consumed by 2 PM.
• Don’t go in the fountains.
• Be careful with what you bring into the actual crowds. Security will be much tighter this year than the past. That mysterious water bottle of clear liquids won’t be allowed. It’s safe to just stick to bringing your phone and ID, or anything else you can easily fit in your pockets. Probably a good idea to take a few shots before going to the concert to ensure at least a little bit of drunken haze during “I Don’t Fuck With You.”

God forbid anything go wrong on this day of celebration, be smart and take care of each other. CAVA’s number is (212) 854-5555. Lion Tamers will be in the crowds to make sure all fun remains safe. Water and food stations should be set up around the event area for a quick glass of H2O and some fuel. Again, pace yourself. You’re going to want to have an enjoyable day and not be wiped out by 1 PM.

Following the performances, most people will most likely head back to their dorms and fall asleep. (Only the strongest will be able to rally and head out for the night.) One final bong rip should send you into a comfortable coma until tomorrow morning. You will get nothing done on Sunday, so don’t even promise yourself you’ll go to Butler and finish your research paper. Eat lots of greasy breakfast food Sunday morning and cry because Bacchanal is over and finals are looming.