Look at you. So sweet. So innocent. So naïve.

In 2006, Elizabeth Gilbert wrote Eat, Pray, Love, a memoir detailing her adventures in three different countries and across two different continents. She spent four months eating in Italy, three months finding her spirituality in India, and the rest of the year falling in love in Bali, Indonesia. Fast forward to 2015: Bwog has decided to commission a new version of Eat, Pray, Love. For the first installment in a three-part series (Novice, Intermediate, and Expert), Daily Editor Lila Etter shares her rookie tips for eating, praying, and ~loving~ in Morningside Heights.

If only our dining halls looked like this…

Eat:
You just got to college three months ago, and you’re still figuring it all out. Nobody expects you to have it all together just yet, and food is no exception. With that “platinum” (unlimited) meal plan that you – or your parents – are paying thousands a year for, how can you justify going off campus to eat? You’ve got Ferris Booth, John Jay, and Hewitt at your disposal, plus all those on-campus cafes! Let’s face it, rookie, you’re not yet advanced enough to go galavanting through Manhattan in search of that ramen burger, or that cronut, or that perfect cheese fondue. You barely know how to take the subway yet, much less find your way to a restaurant! So leave all that to the upperclassmen; you’ll get there eventually. For now, forget Magnolia Bakery, and settle for sitting under the Magnolia tree while eating some mediocre food from Hewitt. In terms of how to eat on campus, finding a balance is key. Don’t spend all your time in just one dining hall. Branch out! Before you settle into a routine that relies heavily on the Ferris pasta line, check out each dining hall. There’s three meals a day and three dining halls, so try to mix it up. And don’t forget to treat yoself every once in awhile, whether that means one of those heavenly breakfast biscuits from Ferris, some Frostline soft serve from John Jay, or some carrot cake from Hewitt.

Prayin’ for the grade

Pray:
A recent post on Overheard at Barnard admits, “I just realized brooks lounge is my house of worship.” As a freshman still adjusting to the college workload, your libraries are your churches. So go out and find you spirituality. That essay is your scripture. That problem set is your prayer book. And as for your own personal church, feel free to take your pick: Butler, Avery, East Asian, Dodge, and many more. Unfortunately for all you first-years, and for all undergrads in general, Arthur W. Diamond Law Library has recently become the most exclusionary of them all. They’ve restricted their policy to only allow actual law students entry through the turnstiles, which means that the closest we’ll be getting to Law is that weird sculpture of pegasus out front. Now that the law lib is practicing closed communion, your options for natural light are somewhat limited. But if you’re a fan of stained-glass windows, we’d recommend Union Theological Seminary, located between 120th and 122nd streets. You can get in with any CU ID, and here you’ll find hallways that feel like Hogwarts, a beautiful interior courtyard, and high ceilings with mahogany archways. Bonus: it’s actually a church!

A familiar view when things just don’t work out

Love:
I know you’re probably in a rush to find that boyf/girlf/non-gendered SO. But remember: you’ve got four whole years to find a significant other! Someone to have and to hold, to share your feelings and hopes and dreams with, to make a truly profound connection with… yeah, all that can wait. You’re still figuring out who you are, and an actual committed relationship will only complicate things. In the words of Drizzy, “Still findin’ myself, let alone a soulmate, I’m just sayin’.” So until then, go to Carman. Sure, most of the time you’ll leave hating yourself a little more than when you first showed up, but where’s the harm in a game of beer pong among… friends? Acquaintances? People you’ve just met, whom you already hope to never see after tonight? It’s not ideal, of course. But odds are your fake hasn’t arrived yet, unless you got your act together like we told you to. Since you can’t go to bars just yet, you’ll have to settle for Carman. But don’t be discouraged. Who knows? You might end up connecting with someone… and if so, their room is probably only a few doors down. Let the loving begin.

All images via Shutterstock