We know that finals season means that every minute of studying is valuable. We also know that a lot of students on campus just don’t care about a lot of the athletics teams. So, in honor of the fall and winter sports seasons, and of a few teams getting shiny new twitter accounts, we proudly present the story of each athletics team this year in 140 characters or less.
@CULionsMBB (Men’s Basketball): Cohen injured. Rosenberg injured. And we keep losing by 1 point. But we’ll definitely turn it around this time!#ChairmanMaodo #LukeSkywalker
@CULionsWBB (Women’s Basketball): That awkward moment when you lead the team in points, rebounds, steals, minutes, three-point percentage… #MoveOverTori #CamilleCan
@ColumbiaXCTF (Cross Country): Men’s Ivy Heps champs! Both ECAC champs!
@Columbiafencing (Fencing): Almost undefeated (#FuckNorthwestern). Still got our individual champ from last year and we’re looking for that #repeat.
@ColumbiaLionsFB (Football): We won a game! I mean, we lost 8, but, we one a game! #NewEra
@columbiafhockey (Field Hockey): A bit wobbly this year. Still 9-8! Really gonna miss Freibott, but we’re rebuilding for next year… #missuchristina
@ColumbiaWGolf and @ColumbiaMGolf (Golf): Boys defended our home club with a first place win! And the girls beat twelve teams in Princeton! Feeling ready for Ivies.
@ColumbiaMSoccer (Men’s Soccer): Started off undefeated, #21 in the nation! Then… we tilted. Still ended 10-5-1, but couldn’t beat the good Ivies. Promising for next year tho!
@ColumbiaWSoccer (Women’s Soccer): The boys are making us look bad. Held it down at home, but could barely steal a win anywhere else. But we’ve got 11 freshmen!#just2019things
@Columbia_Squash (Squash): Just the #5 and #8 teams in the country, #nbd. Undefeated as usual and looking for blood this spring!
@ColumbiaMenSwim and @CULadySwim (Swimming and Diving): Uh-oh, we lost 7 meets in a row… And then suddenly the women won a whole invitational! #praise Also, Jayden Pantel can DIVE! #undefeated
@CUVB (Volleyball): Fun year, but couldn’t quite pull it off. Gonna need some big freshman hitters to step up next year and some more stellar defense from Wes. #HoldItDownCassie
Generic Twitter pictures via @GoColumbiaLions