Tian Tian the snow panda, or our very own enthusiastic freshman writer? 

In honor of the fact that Columbia’s campus currently (remotely) resembles a winter wonderland, Bwog is starting a new campus archetype series: Snow Stereotypes. Bwogger and recent snow enthusiast Asya Sagnak kicks off the series with her account of a freshman seeing snow for the first time.

It is the morning of Blizzard Jonas. A Saturday morning, quiet and peaceful. Many are still asleep. But then, from the depths of the Barnard Quad comes a single shriek – a loud exclamation of joy, not unlike a child on Christmas morning.

It is the freshman from California/Florida/Asia/Anywhere On The Equator, seeing snow for the first time.

They look out of their window in disbelief and press their faces to the glass, feeling the cold on their cheeks. This is it. This is why they moved to New York.

Another shriek. More of them are waking up. Finally, all of their dreams are coming true.

They are grossly underprepared for this day, and they don’t care. They don’t understand the concept of cold, let alone hypothermia; they only know pure, unadulterated joy. Elsa wore a strapless dress to an ice castle and didn’t even shiver – surely, ripped mom jeans and sandals will be enough to protect them from this cute, benevolent blizzard (that shut down all of New York City).

“This is good enough, right?” they ask their friends. “I mean, how cold could it be?”

Their friends can’t bear to break their hearts. “Yeah,” they reply, trying to add more layers to their person as they look away, “you’ll be… fine.”

The first-time snow-er has run out without waiting to hear their reply.

“BABY’S FIRST SNOW!” they yell as they run down College Walk with tears in their eyes, tripping on every single grain of salt. “BABY’S! FIRST! SNOW!” Within seconds, they are transformed into Tian Tian the rolling snow panda, gracelessly becoming one with the snowbanks on Broadway.

Their Snapchat story is soon overflowing with various seemingly ordinary shots of ice (200+ seconds, all captioned “AAAAAAA!!!”) and selfie videos of them trying to catch snowflakes in their mouth (another 100). When they see people sledding on Low Steps with Hewitt trays, they reach a point of happiness they thought only existed in the movies. The international student Facetimes their family back home, fully accepting the water damage that is about to occur to their iPhone. “Mom, dad…” they whisper, “It’s not a myth. It exists. Snow exists. And America gets this every year.” Suddenly, the pains of immigration lines, incorrectly pronounced names, and shallow cultural stereotypes have completely disappeared from their minds. The American Dream is real, and it is thriving. The American Dream exists within this snow and nobody can take it from them.

As they step back into their dorms, they look back to appreciate the sight for one final, blissful moment. They don’t know that the snow will still be on the ground when they wake up – in fact, they don’t know that it will soon turn to disgusting slush, haunting the student body for weeks to come. They don’t even have the foresight to think about how muddy their now-soaking mom jeans are going to get. Their only understanding is of pure, new, fluffy snow, blessing our lives for one weekend a year and disappearing immediately afterwards.

What a day it has been.

Frolicking first-year via Asya Sagnak