Sample opening remarks from one Bwogger’s genetics class this morning

It’s that time of year again: syllabi are dropping from the sky like rain, your friends are shopping more classes in a week than you’d want to take in four years, and professors are attempting to convince you that they’re actually capable of teaching. And whether they do that by cramming two hours’ worth of material into an hour and fifteen minutes, giving you their harsh critiques of Barnard’s new course registration system, or trying to “gank dat youth vote,” we want to hear about it.

Send in your funniest opening remarks to (or leave them in comments, if you’re feeling lazy.) Names of professor and class are not required. Dad puns, jibes at students, distasteful political comments, musical references, out of context exclamations–everything is fair game.