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Posts Tagged with "opening remarks"
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Opening Remarks: Spring 2020

You know it, I know it, we all know it – professors say the darndest things during shopping week. Well, they often say weird shit all year, but it’d be kinda cumbersome if we posted a “shit my professors say” every week. Without further ado, here’s what shopping students had to hear during their first […]

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Call For Opening Remarks

Send us those zingers your professors use to keep you in their class past the shopping period.

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Opening Remarks: 74-Year Old Pervert Edition

Professors have all break to think of a perfect first impression. Yet, they all choose to say this stuff. Here are the weirdest things we heard from week one of classes, in our bi-annual opening remarks post. 

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Professors Say The Darndest Things: A Call For Opening Remarks

In the beginning, there was class. Out of the chaos, professors materialized and said ridiculous things in order to keep your attention. Like the Greek myths of old, a professor’s opening lecture is meant to enthrall you and make you believe in something larger than yourself. However, unlike those Greek myths, these opening remarks were […]

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Opening Remarks: Fall 2017

We’re officially one week into the semester now – we’ve had all of our first classes, and all of our professors have had their shots at first impressions. These opening remarks range from the curious, to the sad, to the distressingly relatable. Rashid Khalidi, History of the Modern Middle East: “I know sleep is more […]

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How Are Your Professors Relating To The Youths This Semester?

You enter the lecture hall (ten minutes before class starts – the earliest you’ll be all semester), take a seat in the middle a calculated distance from the door, throw a jacket over the chair next to you to provide a sufficient buffer between you and the next person. The professor swoops in and spends […]

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Opening Remarks: Spring 2017

Even though the harsh snows are yet to pass, can you feel it in your bones? A warm breeze; your limbs, unfurling from a cold hibernation; the reds and pinks of blooming acer palmatum, magnolia x soulangeana, and those berries you see in the bushes and then wonder if they’re edible or not. Every beginning […]

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The cold, rainy, and gloomy weather might be a sign to just give up now, but let’s face our 8 ams with optimism: it’s syllabus week! We all wish that MLK’s birthday could defy logic and last for a week, but sadly the semester crept up on us and now it’s time to log off Netflix […]

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Are Your Professors “Hip” With The “Kids”? (Call For Opening Remarks)

It’s that time of year again: syllabi are dropping from the sky like rain, your friends are shopping more classes in a week than you’d want to take in four years, and professors are attempting to convince you that they’re actually capable of teaching. And whether they do that by cramming two hours’ worth of […]

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Opening Remarks: Spring 2016

Shopping period has begun and if you think it’s driving you crazy, you haven’t been paying attention to the professors–here are some of the weirdest, wisest, most wonderful words to come out of our profs’ mouths as we pore over their syllabi in fear and excitement. Thanks for sending in quotes and helping to continue […]

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Shit Your Professors Will Say (Or, Call For Opening Remarks)

It’s true, classes have barely started – but, as the indefinable They governing our colloquial expressions say, only three things in life are inevitable: death, taxes, and weird professors. In this first week, the realm of syllabi and awkward silences, many of your professors probably haven’t planned out lectures beyond reading over a typo-ridden document […]

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Opening Remarks: Fall 2015 Edition

The first week of classes is over, and the opening remarks by your professors are in. We hope your profs stay in such good spirits (especially when they’re grading your papers.) If you hear/see your profs doing any other ridiculous things this semester, tell us about it by sending an email to tips@bwog.com! Anna Caterina Musatti, […]

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Send Us Your Opening Remarks!

“Four score and seven years ago…” – (Former) President Abraham Lincoln, 1863 “Imma let you finish…” – (Future) President Kanye West, 2009 These are just some of the great opening lines of our great history.  Who knows what might be penned among them during this remarkable time: the beginning of 2015 fall classes at Columbia. […]

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Opening Remarks

Though we’re still well in to the Shopping Period, some professors have gone above and beyond to accomplish a rewarding retention rate for the first week of classes by making you feel welcome/uncomfortable/curious where the line between student and professor stands. Whatever the intention or the response, we’ve compiled some of the best memories from […]

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criminally underrated. takes me back lol (read more)
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