What did you put in YOUR mouth this weekend?

Well friends, it’s that time of the week again. Another Monday spent wishing you didn’t spend all day yesterday in bed sleeping off a wicked hangover instead of working in Butler. Oh, wait—that’s just me? Well, I’ll be damned. In that case, here’s what everyone else did this weekend.

What did you put in your mouth this weekend?

• Shoved a soup dumpling in my mouth and burned my entire tongue.
• Had home-cooked food for the first time since the semester began.
• Baked blueberry muffins but didn’t get to eat any of them because gastritis/not home.
• Went to Chinatown and took wine shots which still, sadly, fucked me up.
• Convinced some friends to go all the way to Flushing to get hot pot with me as a birthday lunch. (The combined subway time was longer than the combined eating time.)
• Ate a gyro in Hungarian on Saturday night with surprisingly little judgement.
• Had amazing escargot.

Taking those W’s:

• Napped during the day time for more hours than I slept at night this weekend.
• Spent a really nice Saturday with a boy I’m actually into… sober.
• Replaced the lock on my door because it didn’t actually lock before.
• Tried to get into 1020 with a random shirtless dude on the street, ended up better off cutting the line.
• Went on a date with a 30 year old and exploited his financial resources.
• Went to Central Park and had my friend take 237 pics of me so I could have a new prof pic.
• Finished the first draft of a piece of writing that’s not due for several weeks—the most on top of a deadline I’ve been in my entire life.
• Went to Long Island with fam, got wine drank at a couple vineyards
• Went to a hidden bar above a Five Guys.

…And those L’s:

• Saw the mouse that has been haunting my suite for weeks crawl under the pantry so I lined the pantry with glue traps and successful caught it. By 8pm the following evening we had three more mouse sightings in my suite.
• Kind of bullied a guy at dollarama.
• Treated sickness with Brazilian antibiotics because fuck John Jay Medical Center.
• Woke up sunday morning very sick without a voice.
• Ran out of my semesterly dining dollars quota within three weeks of being back on campus (live love Cafe East).
• Developed gastritis (inflamed stomach) from taking too many painkillers and ubered to St. Luke’s.
• Took a really hard body conditioning class with this teacher that doesn’t give water breaks and runs 10 minutes over.
• Went on a date friday night, subsequently had a hickey on my neck for the rest of recruitment weekend.

Photo via Can Stock Photo.