Blue Java Cafe simply being.

Like all things consumed in the capitalist world, dining halls have striking similarities to films nominated for best picture. They can be competitive, undeservedly obscure, sumptuous, or “full of shit.” Staff Writer Leo Bevilacqua tells you which Best Picture nominee you are based on your comfort dining hall. 

John Jay Dining Hall – You are Manchester by the Sea. You are the obvious choice despite lacking flavor. You rack up the awards like no other and are not shy to display it every chance you get. However, you sometimes make people cry.

Ferris Booth Commons – You are Hell or High Water. You go hard, which means you are either an athlete or someone who consistently wakes up at 7 am to run the track at Dodge. You appeal to a more modern crowd and are action-packed (e.g. trying to find a seat on the second floor during peak hours).

JJ’s – You are La La Land. You are full of shit. People like to think you break the mold and are simply delightful. However on further examination, you are unhealthy for the general culture. You comfort the sad and overwhelmed but only fix their problems temporarily. You are addictive, and people will always keep coming to you.

Hewitt Dining Hall – You are Hidden Figures. You are better than your male counterpart but are held back due to circumstances out of your control. You might not be the best, but you certainly are as good if not better than those who are universally praised.

Diana Center – You are Fences. You are the real deal. You are talented, powerful, and inspiring. You don’t show off like your male counterparts because you are simply great. However, you are constantly ignored in favor of mediocre options that are more accessible to a provincial body. Your sophistication and talent threatens many of your friends, but your day is coming.

Brownie’s Cafe – You are Moonlight. You are a hidden gem. You’re a brooding artist that is into aesthetics and quality. You are willing to walk far distances to achieve your goals. Life has dealt you a hard blow, banishing you to obscurity, but you have made yourself known through your tremendous work ethic, wit, and focus. You don’t like the bright lights and enjoy the quiet praise of a few friends that matter.

Uris Cafe – You are Hacksaw Ridge. No one knows much about you, but they have a feeling you are worth the trek. Unfortunately, most do not make the journey because you’re pretty isolated. You are ambiguous, and the jury is still out on whether you belong.

Cafe East – You are Lion. You have a loyal cult following but strive to gain popularity in a provincial crowd. Your accessibility makes you a staple to most of your friends. You are the fun friend and know how to mix things up.

Blue Java Cafe – You are Arrival. You exist, which is the most that can be said of you. You don’t really make much of an impression and mostly raise eyebrows.