seriously, what WERE you thinking…

Being in New York City, Columbia students have a myriad number of ways to deplete their bank accounts. City life is not cheap, which is why charting it might be a good idea. Staff writer Leo Bevilacqua takes us through the cause of your being broke. Please note that Bwog does not condone any type of fiscal irresponsibility.

It’s Saturday night! Are you tallying all of your expenses for tonight? If not, Bwog will keep track for you.

5:00 P.M.: Blue Java Café earl grey and/or apple (-$7) because all this studying has made you drowsy and you need a break. Hot water with a stale tea bag is a lot more expensive than is believed.

6:00 P.M.: Strawberry Lemonade Svedka (-$17) from International and Simply Lemonade/Gatorade (-$10) from Duane Reade as well as Red Solo Cups (-$10) because you’re having a pregame in your shafted McBain double and your friends cannot be trusted with choosing the alcohol (i.e., no Fireball, Smirnoff Ice, or Malibu).

8:00 P.M.: Thai Market Pad See Ew With Beef (-$12) because it’s the weekend and you and your friends want to treat yourselves before another week of Ferris Salads and John Jay quinoa. But hey, your friends want to split the check evenly, even though your alcoholic friend ordered two Martinis (-$10).

9:30 P.M.: Some of your ‘friends’ decide to venmo you back (+$10).

10:30 P.M.: At the pregame, one of your friends pours svedka all over your dry cleaning (-$35), but assures you that he’ll pay you back, bitch please (+$0).

11:30 P.M.: At the party, you realize you lost your scarf/hat/[insert accessory] here (-$60).

12:30 A.M.: One of your friends convinces you to go downtown by Uber (-$20) where you have to pay a ridiculous cover to have the real housewives of New Jersey and Scarsdale grind up against you (-$30).

1:30 A.M.: You’re back uptown via Lyft (-$18) because you just remembered about the Uber-Trump connection, and Mel’s G&T’s is where it’s at (-$11).

2:30 A.M.: You’re at Tom’s and no one has cash on them except you (-~$40). You decide to pick up some Advil (as well as some groceries) at Duane Reade in anticipation for tomorrow morning (-$20).

3:00 A.M.: Before you pass out, you book that Soul Cycle class for tomorrow afternoon that you will most likely not attend (-$35).

All in all, you lost $345 and your dignity suffered exponentially. You have a lot of explaining to do when your parents call with the monthly statement in a week.

bank of america atm via libn.com