Homer probably approves

Two-thirds of college students will have smoked the devil’s lettuce at least once in their four years of their undergraduate degree. And in preparation of one of the most underrated holidays (4/20), Bwog writers, Bella and Jack, are here to warn you about the worst places to smoke on campus for you newbies.

PrezBo’s Garden: Like every Columbia Student, you would love to feel like the administration cares about you. The easiest way is to waft the sweet, yet noxious, smell of weed through PrezBo’s window and force him to call campus security on you. This might not be the best method for smoking casually, but it’s attention grabbing – enough to maybe get an article about you on Bwog.

Pupin 425 or any similar windowless class room: This school has a unique aspect that is unheard of at other schools: the windowless classroom. Who would even design a classroom with no windows? While it might seem like the perfect hot box, the air will just be recirculated endlessly, and they’ll probably find your body Monday morning after you die of asphyxia. You’ll probably have endless articles written about you in all sorts of publications, so is this really the worst way to go?

Butler 209: This is honestly tempting. 209 is the closest room in Butler to the frat houses in both proximity and culture. Everyone is low-key desperately waiting for the moment it turns into a party. Yet it’s still Butler, and Alma be damned if you are going to enjoy a second of your time in it. Plus, it’s on the ground floor, closest to the security guards, so avoid lighting up in this room unless it’s a mass protest against the cancellation of Orgo Night.

Frosci Lecture: While you could argue that smoking at the Teacher’s College would be a nice demonstration about the universe continuously expanding, Brian Greene probably wouldn’t appreciate it very much. And since half the first-year class is there, it would be pretty embarrassing to be caught in such an unfortunate situation. (But if the urge does hit, the TC bathrooms are very spacious and airy (just a helpful tip)).

McBain Shaft (or any shaft for that matter): Let’s be real – a dark, small room with little to none air flow is not ideal for not being caught by an RA. You’re either going to have to shove a bunch of towels under the door and hope for the best or buy some high powered fan to blow the smell out the window. That honestly sounds like too much work to me, so we suggest you knocking on your across-the-hall neighbor to see if they would like to join you in your adventure, in their room only, that is.

LitHum or CC: While the adventures of Dante and the philosophical musings of Kant might be gripping to some, you may be having the urge to take your stash out and pass it around as an act of protest against being brainwashed by the whole of this Western thought. A lack of Eastern and POC thought could have your blood boiling, but we highly advise that you take a few deep breathes and hate smoke in the comfort of your own room, or Riverside Park for that matter.