Oh, the humanity!

This is a guide on how to not be an asshole in Ferris, because too many people simply don’t know how to carry themselves in a way that isn’t a giant inconvenience to everyone around them.

Apologies if this post comes off as patronizing. If this is advice you need to heed, you can’t complain. If you’re not a Ferris asshole, this post isn’t meant for you, and you can whine with us about people who need this advice in the comments. If you are physically or otherwise unable to do some things listed below (like walking quickly), this doesn’t apply to you. We are specifically talking about people who don’t have proper etiquette out of ignorance or selfishness.

• Put your bag down first. If you’re carrying a giant backpack as you get food, you’re taking up twice as much space, and your backpack gets in everybody’s way. If you’re not staying to eat in Ferris, and thus don’t have a table to put your bag down at, at least be conscious of how much space your bag takes up.
• Don’t carry food and a drink at the same time. It’s harder to maneuver when both your hands are full, and if you bump into someone you’re more likely to spill something.
• Don’t use the waffle maker unless you know how to.
• They won’t give you dessert if they’re still serving breakfast.
• If you drop something, pick it up! Don’t just leave it there for someone else to clean up after you.
• If you’re looking around for a table, stand off to the side. Don’t stand in everyone’s way.
• The space between the first level square tables and the swipe in desk seems like an open space, ideal for standing around for a conversation, but it’s a passageway. Don’t stand there. You’re in everyone’s way.
• If you’re going up or down the stairs and there is someone behind you, don’t turn around or stop. Keep walking, or at least wait until you get to the little landing in the middle if you really need to turn around or stop. The stairs are narrow, and this is not only annoying, but also dangerous. People could fall down the stairs and actually hurt themselves.
• Don’t keep your backpack on a seat next to you outside with the outlets if there are clearly people looking for a seat and you’re not saving it for anyone. Just hang it on your own chair, or better yet, keep it on the ground.
• Keep your conversations to a quiet roar. Ferris is not a quiet space, but that doesn’t mean you should be screaming. There are other people trying to talk, and a lot of people are trying to frantically study between classes.
• Walk on the right side. This isn’t England!
• Say please and thank you to the employees! They are amazing and deserve everything good in the world.
• Don’t stand in front of the utensil counter. That area clogs up easily.
• Remember that there is another drink machine upstairs, which fewer people use. During peak hours, the downstairs drink machine area gets easily very crowded with the pasta line, drinks line, salad line, and sometimes even the hot food station line. Use the upstairs drink machine if possible. Same goes for utensils.
• If you are in the pasta line, stand in the middle of the space between the drink machines and the salad station. This way, there is enough space for people to use both. If people are trying to pass, be considerate of that.
• Same goes for if you are in the action station line. Leave enough space for people to get to the soups and nuts on either side of you, and be considerate of people trying to pass.
• If you are sitting alone during peak hours, don’t use your stuff to take up all the empty space at your table. Let people sit!
• Don’t approach an acquaintance looking to have a full-on convo when they are clearly cramming for a midterm and trying to scarf don’t a biscuit at the same time. Your comment about your TA’s goatee can wait.
• Whatever you are doing, be quick and efficient. Are you grabbing a fork? Grab it fast, there are people behind you. Are you at the hot foods station? Grab what you want and go, don’t take your sweet ass time. There are people who have places to be, things to do, people to see. Don’t walk at a snail’s pace, but at a brisk pace. Getting a drink? Make up your mind quickly, and get to the drink option you want as fast as you can. There are people behind you.
• In general, be conscious of how much space you (and your backpack) are occupying and be considerate of others. Don’t just push your way through a crowd and bump into everyone else. If you accidentally bump into someone, at least say “excuse me”! Don’t block passageways where people are trying to pass. If people bump into you because you are standing around in everyone’s way, you can’t complain. Watch out for where people are going, where you want to go, and calculate your path so that you inconvenience others as little as possible.
• Just Be Nice!!!!!!

Ferris line via Bwog Archives