We here at Bwog are quite proud of our FAPing skills over the weekend. While many people spent this past weekend doing normal, boring things, Bwog Staff took things up a notch and FAPed away, because what’s better than Food, Alcohol, and Partying?

What a fancy glass of wine!

Bwog and Food:

  • Shared a lot of dishes/utensils with people, then found out I have strep.
  • Had the best sushi of my life at the restaurant of the apprentice of Jiro from “Jiro Dreams of Sushi.”
  • Ate an obscene amount of dim sum.
  • Have Postmated my meals for the past three days because I lost all my important possessions – namely my school id, fake id, debit card, and insurance card, and keys.
  • Went to a fancy restaurant for my 20th birthday with my grandparents. They announced I was turning 20 to the waitress, who then brought me a glass of wine.
  • Burnt my tongue on Wawa’s free sample coffee.
  • Was forced into dinner with my friend and her former TA. Felt attacked when he, a 26-year-old man, used the phrase “good vibes” unironically.
  • Had ice cream no less than 3 times even though it was fucking freezing outside.
  • Made cinnamon rolls! From scratch!

Bwog and Alcohol/Weed:

  • Held my own birthday party which I left halfway through, having sequestered all the booze, because my ex was being shitty about the aux.
  • Became friends with the bouncer at 1020. Accidentally took his drink thinking that someone left a fresh drink by the door.
  • Went to a jazz club Midtown and had a cocktail with “earl grey infused vodka and homemade blackberry syrup” which was delicious.
  • Got hard-core carded and told that I “look very young” by Lucy, the 70 year old female proprietor of Lucy’s, a bar in the East Village.
  • Drank the fanciest wine I have in recent memory, from the fridge of the family I babysit for.
  • Was so stoned that I imagined being chased by a man in the street.
  • Went to a Rich Chigga concert so fucking faded I don’t even remember going there, the concert, or getting back.

Bwog and Partying:

  • Got literal bite marks on my inner lip that look like cold sores from a guy who doesn’t know how to kiss.
  • Refused to kiss a guy at a party and talked to him about politics, rape culture, and climate change instead.
  • Took care of my blacked-out friend who usually takes care of my drunk ass.
  • Accidentally jumped into a lake in 20 degree (F) weather.  Could have died of drowning and/or hypothermia, but I LIVED.  (And spent another ~6 hours outside in freezing temperatures the next day.) (Bwog Note: this isn’t partying but we think it best fit in this category)
  • Kicked my friends out of my pregame because I got upset at them.
  • Co-hosted a 70 person party with my NYU boyfriend. I was the drunkest person there but luckily only managed to embarrass myself once everyone had left.

Bonus: Bwog in the City!

  • Saw P. Diddy doing squats at the Columbus Circle Equinox.
  • Ran into one of my good friends on the uptown 1 train at 2:30 am. He was so drunk he puked all over the platform at 42nd St station.
  • Went to Bryant Park Winter Village and had the best cider and donuts of my life.
  • Met Frank from My Chemical Romance at a concert in Brooklyn.
  • Saw my favorite band, screamed the entire show.

Drunk off wine via Public Domain