“Please don’t make me read and review a journal article you wrote in high school.” – The professor

It’s finals time, and the inevitable panic that sets in when you look at your lax notes will probably lead you to beg for mercy during office hours. While waiting for those 5 minutes you have to discuss everything that has been taught in class, you will face some human obstacles. Staff writer Megan Wylie warns you of one of the most dangerous archetypes: the ‘try hard.’

The ‘try hard’ is unfortunately not a rare character at Barnumbia. A frequent voice in class, they have a unique skill that gives them the confidence to ask a question in a 100 person lecture and turn it into a full-on conversation. Despite this tactic, they choose to arrive a full thirty minutes early to office hours in order to sit themselves down in front of their professor’s door. The bleak two hours that your professor holds office hours is your chance to butter them up before they grade your research paper, or maybe you just want to learn a bit about them.

The try hard goes to office hours, however, for a different reason. They trek to SIPA and bother their tenured professor just to make sure their busy educator knows about their knowledge of early German literature and how it relates to the curriculum. Plot twist: it doesn’t. Despite the uselessness of their visit, they make sure to spend a solid 45 minutes babbling on about how they disagree with their professor who has a doctorate in the field. They hold a conversation with the professor for as long as they can, however, it’s not so much a conversation as it is a one-sided critique of what historical academia deems to be true.

Though the field of students waiting and audibly sighing should give the ‘try hard’ a hint to finish up their rant, it only fuels their arrogance. As soon as they move their chair, the next student in line gleefully jumps up,  only to be stopped when the ‘try hard’ chimes in again. “By the way…” echoes throughout the hallways as they tell the professor about an op-ed they wrote in Spec (probably about elevators and whatnot). The passionate professor who has dedicated themselves to educating youths–no matter how aggressive they may be–has no power against the looming student hovering in the office.

The ‘try hard,’ unbeknownst to their concrete self-esteem, is easy to identify due to the constant eye rolls that follow their every move. While unanimously detested by their peers, Professors react to this body in different ways. Some positively respond to a student taking an unhealthy interest in the internal conflict of the 17th century Balkans. Others come to the realization that they are not paid enough to listen to a nineteen-year-old from New Jersey mansplain that their idea of a singular world autocracy outsmarts centuries of political theorists. The ‘try hard’ does not care, however, and not even an unfriendly Professor can stop the ‘try hard’ from pursuing as much one-on-one time as possible. No matter how frustrated you may become, it is integral that you avoid the ‘try hard’ as not to get caught up in a patronizing debate about the syllabus. Not even a grade boost is worth competing for the ‘try hard’ in the game of office hours, so you might as well get a head start on that final paper–god knows the ‘try hard’ already has.

We get it, you’re a suck up via Pixabay