The eyeshadow almost makes it okay.

The Barnard dorms have gotten a lot of attention this semester because of the heat crisis. However, new Bwog Staffer, Elizabeth Burton, thinks that there are far more pressing problems – such as randomly appearing mannequin heads in her quad’s common room. After several weeks of confusion and (slight) discomfort, she decided to sit down (???) with the mannequin and find out what exactly was going on. 

Bwog: First off, what is your name? Do you actually have a name? 

Mannequin Head: Yes, it’s Viola.

Bwog: Interesting. Where exactly do you come from? 

Viola: This part is not exactly clear since I’m literally just a head sitting on a desk, but I am part of a long-standing summer camp tradition where bodiless mannequins like myself are used to scare young, unsuspecting children. Sometimes I scare counselors, too. I’ve found that most people tend to be at least a little bothered by a floating head staring at them.

Bwog: How did you end up at Barnard? 

Viola: After someone decided that string lights, posters, and plants just weren’t going to cut it for dorm decorations, I was shipped here. Since the Brooks quad rooms are small and narrow AF, I felt that I’d be more at home on a desk in the common room.

Bwog: Do you have a favorite spot on the desk? I hear you move around sometimes. 

Viola: It took a little while to get adjusted, but I really like to be on the top of the desk so that my eyes peer into your soul when you walk into the room. My favorite part of the day is seeing someone come home and jump a little when they forgot that I’m still here and always watching.

Bwog: Since the rest of us spend so much time out of the room, is there anything you like to do when you have the suite to yourself? 

Viola: This isn’t Toy Story. I literally just sit here and pretend I can smell the Shake Shack outside the window and wait until the next time I get to scare someone. It’s not that exciting.

Bwog: What about during the heat wave? How did you deal with it? 

Viola: Since I am only a head, it didn’t bother me much. I hear it was quite the ordeal, especially for those privileged residents who had never experienced any type of discomfort before. By the time it started to cool down, everyone in the quad insisted on leaving their brand new tower fans running out of spite. I guess it made them feel better about having spent 100s of dollars, though.

Bwog: Is there anything else that you’d like readers to know? 

Viola: Use the side door if you’re visiting the suite.

Haunting your dreams via Bwog Staff