Senior Staffer Sarah Harty eats, sleeps, and breathes the Diana Center Café. She’s not here for your “I don’t understand the system” bullshit. You can catch her there at all hours of the day. She brings you the REAL cost of eating at Diana 24/7.

My freshman year at Barnard, I was imprisoned by the Platinum Meal Plan. It’s 19 swipes a week, which was far too many, and only 120 points a semester, which was far too few. Like everyone else, I fell in love with the basically-cardboard-with-sauce Diana thin-crust pizza, and I ran through my points within, like, a month. Columbia Students are often confused by the Diana system, which relies on a point system at lunch (where you can get anything you want) and a swipe system at dinner/late-night (where you can get one entrée + two sides) ((and a smoothie is an entrée)) (((and only the first row of chips counts for swipes))) ((((don’t ask me about breakfast. I don’t wake up that early)))). As you can see, this system makes total sense!!

Well, it does if you basically live there, which I do. I’m now a sophomore living in Hewitt and THRIVING on my Quad Upperclass Meal Plan, which has 150 swipes a semester and a whopping 625 points. Here’s the kicker: the points roll over by semester, but not academic year. Which means I had 1250 points to use up this year. How the fuck am I going to do that?? I resolved to find out using the devil’s method: math. I’ve created a (not exhaustive) list of Diana’s offerings and calculated how many I can buy with my fuckton of points. Without further ado, here is Bwog’s latest BOTE: Diana Edition.

• (1250/7.99) =  156 Grain Bowls
• (1250/7.49) = 166 Thin Crust Pizzas
• (1250/7.39) = 169 Sandwiches
• (1250/6.99) = 178 Sushi Trays
• (1250/5.29) = 236 Bags of Carrot Chips
• (1250/4.79) = 260 Cans of Kombucha
• (1250/3.20) = 390 Cans of Monster Energy
• (1250/2.80) = 446 Cans of Yerba Mate
• (1250/2.10) = 595 Pop-Tarts
• (1250/1.75) = 714 Bags of Unique Pretzels
• (1250/1.55) = 806 Bags of Deep River Chips
• (1250/1.30) = 960 Nutrigrain Bars

The promised land of points usage via Flickr.